Stop Me Before I Vote Again

i don't know. i am a little disappointed that hillary isn't going to win it. i was really looking forward to seeing how the rank and file would sing her praises through clenched teeth and with sour faces...it would have been a true manifestation of mass psychosis.

honestly, a lot of my friends who are pro obama said that if hillary wins they will think about voting green/nader. i don't believe them, but still, one step closer perhaps...

It's toxic alright, but that video is pretty clever marketing on the part of Team Hillary. They're moving in on the Obama brand: empty-headed nostalgie and sanctimonious optimism. It's not going to be easy for them to rebrand Hillary on the fly like this, but they have a lot of money and there are all those super delegates, with careers that depend on staying on the right side of the mothership.

The video production values hit just the right note. It's got popular television melodrama oozing out of every pixel. Pretty clever. When they're not terrified, liberals want a world in which the scary, hebephrenic right is humbled, but not defanged, and the softer, easier issues of the left can be coopted with a veneer of tolerance. They want a technocratic Mary Tyler Moore, Welcome Back Kotter as the model for education reform and Barney Frank pursuing a humorous yet sedulous global war on terror. Eight years of Leave it to Beaver run through David Lynch's meatgrinder has been hard on them, poor things.

Obama slithered into the void where they keep their social policies, with the hollow pieties of that keynote speech at John "can of tomatoes" Kerry's vanity convention, and he's done pretty well so far, but I wouldn't count Clinton II out. Terrorist theatre would send liberals scurrying for the safety of a kinder, gentler Maggie Thatcher candidate. Iron Hillary still has a chance.

Oh, dear Gaahhhddd, Smiff. You still ask us to type in Hillary Clinton's first name? Dude, that is so played.

But, aaa-aaaanyway...

Sorry I could only get through the first 42 seconds before screaming for somebody to stop the torture and buy a...that is, stop the torture. Oh, dear G@d, somebody, anybody, make it stop.

Actually, if you ask me, the production values totally scream Any Mid-'80s "Just Say No" Music Video In Between Saturday Morning Cartoons.

Oh, and that marketing of Hillary's signature as some kind of designer brand is about as obnoxious as it gets.

Still, for so many reasons -- the current Obama Beatlemania being one of them -- the best that could happen for Our Side would be for Hillary to get the nomination either in a late primary surge, or -- even better -- a shady ball-busting "deal" in a smoke-free smoke-filled room at the Convention, resulting in mass disgust and mass defections either to the Greens, Nader or NOTA. As much as I'm loving watching Senator Magic Negro whup up on Senator Evita, I still find myself wishing the Clintonoids' crass, barenekkid pre-primary bullying had just barely squeaked a couple out for them -- just to work up a little more raw, hard edge of resentment among the Demoproles -- on a groin-kicking, knee-capping trail to the nomination.

...oh, and not to mention the reason of my having already lugged the folding chairs and spare beer cooler up to the roof. Call me sick...

(the Regulars: YOU'RE SICK!)

...but watching Hillary Peron get the Donkeycratic nomination -- not to mention her subsequent Fall campaign -- would be like watching the political equivalent of the Challenger launch:

roger, Hillary Zero Eight, you are go at throttle-up...

ooooohhhhhhh. aaaaahhhhhhhh.

counting hillary out
is like counting
jerry lewis out
or .........RN out

its locally sensible
but globally ineffective

she'll need several more
a single ten count
to leave the ring
hell even if she does leave the ring
ob better protect himself at all times

the hill will go for a folding chair

gentler Maggie Thatcher candidate

as a dedicated ex auntie Mag-stag
you got that wrong ways round

yipes
mother clinton
is a brutaler Mrs T
A bloat legged low bottomed
eye scratcher
with a self revealed mandate
to start
scold war one

Not only is St. Kill a tougher Mrs. T, as op-san says, she's a FAR more dishonest one, too. Maggie said she'd shoot you as she pulled the trigger. Sometimes her warnings were even stronger than her bullets. Killary, meanwhile, will express sincere "concerns" and "regrets" and "this-is-the-best-we-can-gets" as her porky, fish-scented digits "slip" firmly and reliably onto the death-levers.

And I am far from convinced that her nomination will generate the amount of disgust you assume, Fluggie. Several reasons, including the marketing savvy of the Klintons, the continuing saleability of the DP's 2-card-monty trick, and the popularity of blaming both Al Gore and the Electoral College on Nader (who himself never came out gunning for either AG or the EC back in 00/01), suggest our Iron-Fist-in the-Faux-Velvet-Glove Lady Clintcher will slip pretty easily into the OO.

Actually, I thought this was pretty cool. Who else would have thought to bring the 1910 Fruitgum Company out of retirement? Or was it the Archies? And are we going to be able to get this record on the back of the Sugar Smacks box?

Okay, here's the song with parts you didn't understand filled in:

[Vote] from sea to shining sea,
Everyone for Hillary!

Fighting in the war,
But we don't know what we're fighting for.
School we're testing minds,
But we're leaving our children all behind!

The world is getting hot,
[But our global warming plan is not;
Our goals are out of range,]
... So we know it's time for a change!

Hillary for you and me
Bring back our democracy!
Make this country proud and free
Let's stand up for Hillary!

Now Hillary will fight
For what we all know is right.
Experience is great,
Instead of war we can negotiate!
[Education,] health and world affairs,
Hillary's the one who cares!
This lady knows how to lead,
In this President's race she will succeed!

Thanks, Michael. Now I feel like Ray Milland at the end of X - The Man with the X-Ray Eyes. Aaaaaaaugh!