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Hunter for the home team

By Owen Paine on Thursday February 26, 2009 06:52 AM

A recent communique from my guardian gremlin, Hunter T:

"Some of you life members of the hate-America-first league oughta sit up a moment and take notice. Your preferred exploiters over there around Eurodisney are calling for the wagery to eat from the cat box these days, too:

"...and I say for all their class consciousness and red ribbons, they'll eat at least as much kitty litter as we will.

"So fuck 'em, and fuck their better cheese too. When the local hegemons over there start passing out the pink slips and report-to-the-rear notices, watch what happens -- I bet them old world wage slaves won't get one finger's length ahead of us doughfaced yanks. Fuck it, I bet we show 'em tailpipe, baby.

"Okay, you multilingual, bisexual, French ass-kissin, Uncle-is-Frankenstein types -- let's see who sinks faster and further here. And let's see who fights back harder and stronger -- Swedes and Lombards or us good ole boys playin' fer Team Dixie."

Ahh, Hunter, my Virgil -- still the rabid loyalist hometeamer, eh?

So much for the rant of a dipso gun-lusting sports fan. As guide to a class struggle world view, what's he worth?

Call me in a year or three.

Comments (14)


You really think a European soccer fan is thuggier than an Oakland Raider fan?

OK, skinheads and fascists are more public there than here, but so are socialists, Greens, commies and labor unions.

I'll bet their politics are less reactionary than ours three years from now. If they or we are still around!

Nicholas Hart:

I hate America so much I want to turn it into France. Just think! We could punish 300 million Americans with shorter work weeks, longer vacations, better job security, higher wages, free health care and healthier food. Such a sinister plot!

Son of Uncle Sam:

They'll only get Fingerbanged ahead of us

Son of Uncle Sam:

Healthier food? What's on the menu?

Nicholas Hart:

I'll tell you what's not on the menu: fast food. Last time I was in France the waistlines were much slimmer than those in the US.

I second Nicholas on how much agony we could bring down on this country with the shorter work weeks, etc.

Still, you forgot a few things:
1. A Left with a sense of humor. Sad as it sounds, what passes for the Left in this country is living up to the pissy, anal-retentive, humorless, PC caricature of itself. A couple of summers ago, I did a cartoon on the Iraqi death count reaching a million and the US media reaction -- or lack of same -- to it, featuring a parody of your classic tarted-up female US news anchor. You should've seen the flames I got on the IMC discussion boards from all those goddamned emaciated vegan lesbian punk-rocker anarcho-feminists howling about how my cartoon objectified women. Rather sad, somehow, that some of the most appreciative responses to my work come from Europe and the UK.

2. Leftist dudes who openly flirt with women in cafes while smoking, and leftist chicks who flirt back. This shit was going on all the time the last time I was in Paris, in the neighborhood where my wife and I were staying, near the Sorbonne, which was, needless to say, chock full of budding young anarchist art students of both sexes. Which brings us to:

3. Better-looking women. Mind you, this is a generalization based on the "sample" I was able to observe during the time I spent in Barcelona and Paris, but still, on average, way better looking. I'm not just talking about upper-middle-class women my age, but crazy-assed leftist/anarchist student types -- they looked better, they dressed better (none of this black hoodies and black Levis held together with safety pins bullshit), and they had a lot better attitude as well. As I mentioned in 2., you could smile and flirt, and they'd smile and flirt back. Now, that's solidarity.



u is a bakuninist hog-dandy

flirt ???

shit pard
bull riders don't flirt
they ....


Why is the US so un-class-conscious and politically unsophisticated? Riddle me that, OP and MF?

Nicholas Hart:

Sorry, not OP or MF, but here's my brief attempt to answer why we are so un-class-conscious in the US. McCarthyism.

N. Chauvin:

For OP.

Peter Ward:

I lived in the UK for four years, studied there. And I have to say I was not terribly impressed with the so called left over there. Mostly I found mired in various obscurities such as treating Critical Theory (postmodern theory, semiotics, Marxist fundamentalism etc), imported from France for the most part, as a Theory of Everything. Much of the self proclaimed left in the US of course follows suit but the I think the genuine left, i.e., the people who will stand up and take blows when the time comes, are comparatively very down to earth if often religious. How people looks is, frankly, totally irrelevant (I say that as an angry ugly person).

It is true that most characteristics re: public services distinguish countries in Western Europe favorably compared to the US. But if one makes allowances for resource available Cuba is in fact almost certainly the most successful country in the world not France. In other respects, such as localism Europe is an appalling disaster and discrimination based on religion (targeting Muslims) is legal in various forms in many countries especially France and the Netherlands. Furthermore, free speech hardly exists as a meaningful concept (Cf Israel and the French press or Kosovo and the UK press). Finally, there is an absolute refusal to take responsibility by the euroleft of imperial crimes such as the violent extraction of resources from Africa and other places. Name a Dutch lefty who speaks out about the exploits of Shell in Nigeria, e.g.

I'm with Thompson (as rendered by OP) on this one.


we have a class based unconscious
white wagery
despite its racialist tinge

resentment not just brie eaters
and liberal america scoffers
but boss bashing too

this class sense of solidarity
and clash
is too often displaced into
nascar the the flag and donuts

Son of Uncle Sam:

you make a good arguement but lay off the diet. I'm for all the other stuff but if you're going to advocate running for the border I'm headed to taco bell. Have you even tried the New Angry Whopper? Whats next eliminate booze, ciggaretts, strip clubs and horse races? It's a life choice. You got something personal against Ronnie Mac and the Hamburglar...that's cool... but I don't want bad knees from running every morning in 30 years, I want a massive coronary complements of Colonel Sanders. Past that, I'm sold.


sorry to kill the buzz but would you mind link to totallytop10.com if you are going to use our image?

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