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The auto-con

By Owen Paine on Monday March 23, 2009 12:04 PM

Back in vaudeville days there used to be a con vs. gull gag that involved making change -- an elaborate shuffle that started as a simple swap of a tenner for a pair of fives, and led over a hill-and-dale series of swaps and half reversals to the con trading up his starter ten for 18 bucks of the mark's dough.

Uncle Honeybucket is about to play one of these fast change bits -- on himself. Here's how the harlot-bard of Times Square tells it:

"The government plans to offer subsidies, in the form of low-interest loans, to coax private funds to form partnerships with the government to buy troubled assets from banks."
Okay -- a ten for two fives -- but comes to this in the end:
"The government hopes that the subsidies it provides to investors are so rich that they will be willing to risk overpaying somewhat for the assets."
Tuba-like White House chief economist Chrissy Romer:

"What we’re talking about now are private firms that are kind of doing us a favor, right, coming into this market to help us buy these toxic assets off banks’ balance sheets."
Uncle "partners up" with the hedgies to buy big Z zombie bank garbage -- at something well this side of full discount prices.

Comments (5)

i'm intrigued...

"To help protect taxpayers, who would pay for the bulk of the purchases, the plan calls for auctioning assets to the highest bidders."


"What we're talking about now are private firms that are kind of doing us a favor, right, coming into this market to help us buy these toxic assets off banks' balance sheets,"

are the taxpayers under all of this help and protection and favor insured against, you know, buying up toxic assets being a bad investment?



to the contrary
under all the flim and flam
the tax payers are being "assured "
uncle ...their uncle
herr Sap-sucker uber alles
will " insure " his own loses
and the hedgies own loses
and be sure its a sure thing
loses are whipped into the batter already
insured by the treasury
thru its limitless dollar lateral collateral

peter private and paulie pub sec
both play here
with easy call up lose leader funds

hey if the fed buys
an equal measure of t debt
it costs no one in particular anything inparticular not even the tax payers
one would only see a registraion
in a little higher product price levels

no sweat


Don't worry, Zhou Xiaochuan announced today that China will push for Special Drawing Rights to replace the reserve currency system currently propping up the US dollar. China will then buy up our industrial base and we can all have jobs again.


"Whether he deserves it or not, Timothy Geithner has become the poster boy for everything that's wrong with the government's scatterbrain financial rescue plan. Geithner was in the wheelhouse at the New York Fed when Bear Stearns and Lehman Bros defaulted, and he has played a central role in the $165 million AIG bonus scandal which has ignited a populist firestorm across the country. Now everything even remotely connected to the bank bailout has become a source of fist-clinching rage. The mood of the country has darkened from the steady downpour of bad economic news, the sharp decline in housing prices and the steep rise in unemployment. People are angry at the government, the banks and Wall Street. Their nerves are frayed and their patience is stretched to the limit. "

that's my pen pal mike whitney over at counter punch


it sounds over blown to me of course

a sudden tipping point
a sudden total shift in direction
from yankee doodle but uncle don't
behind the bible curtain
reactionary yahoo-ing
to left populist
wave of rage time ???
that quick a jump ???

the great white forest
has received
lots and lots
of flag flavored
reaganoid acid rain
over these past 30 years

gonna take quite alot
to ignite much of it
into red flames

don't mean never just means

take more then geeks feeding
a pack of wall street voltures
a trillion more
US prime dollars

i agree with those that
see homer gettin his wad off
with video
of a few punked big suits
tagging after a fed-cop
in pumpkin pants and leg bracelets


my suggestion

enjoy the show

when the hive starts to move
it will be all at once
leave us speech-less
in the wake of
its aweful sublimity

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