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Maybe they'll shoot each other

By Al Schumann on Thursday December 3, 2009 06:55 AM

Dec. 1 (Bloomberg) -- “I just wrote my first reference for a gun permit,” said a friend, who told me of swearing to the good character of a Goldman Sachs Group Inc. banker who applied to the local police for a permit to buy a pistol. The banker had told this friend of mine that senior Goldman people have loaded up on firearms and are now equipped to defend themselves if there is a populist uprising against the bank.

I called Goldman Sachs spokesman Lucas van Praag to ask whether it’s true that Goldman partners feel they need handguns to protect themselves from the angry proletariat. He didn’t call me back. The New York Police Department has told me that “as a preliminary matter” it believes some of the bankers I inquired about do have pistol permits. The NYPD also said it will be a while before it can name names.


A populist uprising against the bank? I have no idea what kind of uprising they fear, or why they believe it's likely, but if this disgusting, grandiose paranoia leads to them shooting each other, then I'm all for it. The odds of that are pretty good. Bonus rage and psychotic spite are their defining characteristics. So give them all the pistols they want. Make it mandatory.

Comments (10)


my father in times of class tembloring
always suggested a pump action 12 gage
"with plenty a boxes of shells ..
if that don't slow em to a hault...
we got ... the greek fire from the roof bit "

but he was a basic sorta
class kampf kinda guy

slim pistolas ??

weell i gotta confess
that type of security free enterprise
seems a bit too cavalier for my blood

if their coming for me
i wanna give em more pause then
a pocket six shooter provides

hell that's about like drawing a fencing foil

in troubled times

i guess i'm my dad's boy after all


have to agree with ya sugar Al

the hand gun is basically
for intracorporate

bring back silk collar dueling ??

mano a mano gun play in the executive suite

now that would restore
a little hoi polloi
respect for their betters no ??

Pistols? Hell, give 'em fucking bazookas.

Al Schumann:

If we redacted the article a little, it could become very interesting. Let's say there's a group of people that adheres to a grandiose, incoherent and miserably parochial ideology. They have a sense of victimhood and a sense of entitlement wholly out of proportion to their real circumstances. They're isolated from mainstream society and ruled by autocrats, who demand tribute from their followers and enforce obedience through brutal social pressure. Worst of all, they're acquiring weapons, with money they extorted from their weaker neighbors. Can they be helped?

This is clearly a case for liberal interventionism! We need to save these people from themselves. There'll be a price to pay, but it's a humanitarian price and look: Over there! It's Bernard Kouchner, invoking the sacred memory of Lafayette.

Wow. Each other?

Sweet. Kinda' like the end of Reservoir Dogs, if I recall.

I suppose I oughta get off my ass and see that one, since I managed to sit through Inglorious Basterds (twice!) without being traumatized. Hell, I actually laughed -- heartily, and without guilt -- at the scene where that guy has his head bashed to bits with a baseball bat.

Come to think of it... too bad there aren't enough unemployed and foreclosed types out there who are pissed off enough to fight like they've got nothing to lose; you think people are scared when one laid-off worker here or one foreclosed homeowner there goes postal -- what if these people actually got in touch with each other and got organized? Imagine gangs of these folks, jumping groups of drunken stockbrokers and bankers coming out of bars, stomping and knifing them all to death except for one, left alive to tell the story to the cops and try to explain the bloody dollar sign carved in his forehead.

D'ahh, well; in our dreams, huh? Too bad Americans are all such a bunch of pussies.

Michael Hureaux:

SAVE THEM FROM EACH OTHER?! I'm hoping they'll have an upper class twits competition! I'd raise funds for ammunition if I could be sure they'd kill each other.

Mike F: I don't know about pussies, but most of our national compatriots, male or female, seem to be wanna be dick heads. Thick and meaty. Michael Stivik cubed, all in the family.


thumbs up for al's AssHat foreign policy doctrine


easy to recruit people to occupy those buildings, if we promise showers and cable

Al Schumann:

The buildings are also good candidates for "peace conversion". They can be rehabilitated into very nice clinics, homeless shelter apartments, counseling rooms, accommodations for distressed families, multi-story greenhouses and so forth. The banksters themselves would undoubtedly want to contribute labor, after they saw the gibbets, and I'm sure there are a few comrades who would be happy to guide them through their self-criticism sessions. It could be a positive experience for all concerned.


i really do see this proposal as all upside

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