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Hasn't Haiti Suffered Enough?

By Al Schumann on Saturday January 16, 2010 02:56 PM


I don't think I need to say very much about the decision to have Clinton and Baby Doc Bush take an interest in the relief efforts. Instead, I want to talk about growing up. Adulthood doesn't come easily for some people. Peer pressure and an eagerness to placate authority can make judgments on right and wrong very difficult. If they say the wrong thing, for example "why is he sending those psychopaths?!" in response to authority's decisions, their peer group might come to believe they have cooties. Yet, it's important to ask, to question and to doubt, developmentally speaking, otherwise adolescence and the shame of the apple-polishing reflex will go on forever. The sunk costs of servility become insurmountable, and they'll grow up to become moral cretins, just like those wacky wingnut kids.

I'm not entirely unsympathetic to the plight of access-bloggers, scab liberals, recidivist nudgees and the victims of libertarian paternalism. I do want to help. The sight of them flailing around breaks my heart. I wuv you, wibwubwools and pwogs, weahwee I do.


Comments (33)

The Table:

Why is Obama the only one with a flag pin?

Al Schumann:

I can only hazard a guess: the others hate America.

Three cat-swallowing canaries, busily re-papering the walls of the coal mine. How else explain the wicked grins all around. "Thank God for Haiti!"

Cat-kissing, I should have said...

Al Schumann:

I'm sure they swallow too.


Wow. Yes. Wow. This was what the man was thinking of when he said a picture is worth a thousand words.

I was thinking of swallowing in the other sense, of course, Al. These guys certainly swallow on bended knee.

They look like three frat boys who have a rufied cheerleader tied up to the bunk bed in the 7th-year senior room. About Haiti.

Al Schumann:

I couldn't resist the snark, I'm sorry MD. And yes, they do look like the creepiest frat boys one could ever meet. They're not even bothering to keep a lid on the smugness.

We now have a poster for bipartisanship.


You people should be ashamed of yourself posting a fake picture with George Bush's head photoshopped on Hillary Clinton's body.

Come on, just turn it off for a few days. Have some respect. People are dying. You assholes, I swear to God, you assholes are no better than wingnut Republicans sometimes.

And it's not even good photoshop.

Al Schumann:

Pwog, even in these sad days of non-narcotic cough syrup, too much is still going to make you giddy.


Oh come on. Obama is like what? 6 feet tall. Bush is like what? 5'10". And look at how much taller Obama is. He'd have to be 7 feet tall for that photo to be real.

So stop lying. Here's the weekly diary of Obama photos on the Daily Kos. I don't see your Bush photo anywhere, liars.


Bush is a war criminal and a mass murderer. There's no way Obama would pose in a photo for him. You people are just carrying your hate too far.

I know, I have faith that Obama is working to send Bush to the Hague. Don't tell me he's not.


Al Schumann:

Professor Sunstein? C'mon Cass, attempting cognitive infiltration here is going to exhaust you and, worse, exhaust us. Look, knock it off there's a fellow and I'll share my own cough syrup. Old reds can still get the kind with absinthe and laudanum.

I tend to agree with Pwog here. Is this a real photo?

Barry O'Barmy's on a dais, Gee Dubbs ain't, Slick Willie's not.

(did this really need saying?)

We could really stick it to Pwog if we named the url here.

Not that there wouldn't be a point if it's a fake, but Photoshopping ain't cool in such things...

And I'd love to see old Cassie baby come on here. Rockeller U could use a bit of questioning.



Remarks by President Bush begin at about 5:45.

He mentions Katrina and says 'just send cash' (no blankets, please) and that he and President Clinton will see that it is well spent!!

I found it hard under the circumstances to get any laughs out of this, despite the 'comedy gold mine' setup.

Al Schumann:

The provenance of the photo is impeccable, in the corporate sense of the word, which might very well mean extensive p-shopping. I got it from the AP slideshow.

If Pwog wants to cry foul, I think he should continue to do so. I encourage it. He should start with this one, from the ministry of funny presidential walks.

I've tried to get good old Cass to come visit. I offered him some of my cough syrup too, in a friendly gesture. I got no response at all.

Excellent and typical, Al. But, of course PWOG won't acknowledge his own self-destroying aggression. I'd like to start a boxing league against these types...



Fuck idiots like PWOG.

P'ha ha ha ha haah. D'ahh, c'mon. "Pwog", my ass. Give us a break, Prof. We know it's you.

You don't seriously think that foto's fake, do you? C'mon, check it out. The light direction and shadow match. The contrast and tonal range match. Obama looks taller because he's closer to the camera, and I can tell that because Bubba and The Chimp look slightly out of focus -- and the door behind them even more out of focus -- as if the scene is shot with a narrow depth of field.

Oh, and I'll tell y'all how else I know that foto's for real -- that skeezy-assed Harvard punk has Rahm Immanuel for a Chief Of Staff, Hillary Clinton for Secretary Of Snake, Robert Gates for Secretary Of War, and he's continued with every single goddamn' program that The Chimp started. That's fucking how.

@ Al Schuman: Assuming this "Pwog" guy really is one of those CIA trolls, I gotta say he's doing a piss-poor job of it. Like taking candy from a baby. So goddamn' easy, it wasn't even fun.

Heckuva job, Barack.


OK. The photos are real. But it's not what you think it is. Obama had to pose in those photos with two ex presidents. He selflessly put the people of Haiti above his own vanity.

But this photo is revealing since Obama is very pointedly showing us what he really thinks about Bush and the Clintons. He wants change. Note how he's pushing the old out of the White House.


So you Naderites. Grab a mop and join in. We need all the help we can get.

Al Schumann:

Mike, I reckon most of the "cognitive infiltrators" are not paid for their services. I suspect they're out of pocket to a considerable extent as well. Sucker vigilantes are a dime a dozen and it's easy to fleece them. God knows the big swinging wingnuts manage it expertly. The paid trolls focus on the larger mainstream sites, and the satellite sites, where the interventions stand to interrupt the activities of their bosses rivals. They start it all off with claim that they're combatting conspiracy theories and flawed epistemology and, who knows, they might believe it too. But of course it's all always all about them, in everything, and what they're interested in is advantage relative to their peers.

So after a bit of window dressing to satisfy anyone who took the thing seriously, they take the leashes off the paid trolls. Then the sucker vigilantes scramble to get on the bandwagon.

Our very own Pwogster is undoubtedly a sucker vigilante, more's the pity. I'd love to think we were wasting paid trolls' time by messing around here.

Al Schumann:

MD, I did a quick edit for the sake of thread tidiness, I hope that's okay.

Al Schumann:

And this, incidentally, is why I'm so enamored of the term "access blogger". They'll engage in all sorts of ghastly self-degradations to get a sense of siding with a winning faction. Dangle the promise of a link to their blogs and an essay or two on an official site, a for-real party site, and they'll lap up gallons of vomit for the privilege.

Al, my own quick Google convinced me of the authenticity, as you can tell from the link I sent.

The hard thing is telling whether Pwog and pwog are the same person. Talk about Photoshopping. Demoshopping: (n) the display of fake brains and even faker "politics"

Al Schumann:

I think they do something like whip up a few dozen multi-layer syntactic screens for the pwog rhetorical templates, stuff in a few hundred phrase fragments and feed the mess into a stochastic blackbox. The effect is remarkably human.


this pwog avatar
like son of pwog
and pwog monster
and even
'from out of the pwog '
are all
graceless pinkoshop figments
of our own steroidal indignation

super Al's always tellin me

some day PAINE
your id's gonna just go
pony fucker on ya

there are no real virtual sunstein trolls
here at father's fox holes

that is
unless "we few"
we damaged self diddlin' few
paste em up here

isn't that all just
so very very vile
of us ???

okay okay
i must confess
my fake ab from harvard
in the boys only SMBIVA DEN
by Al's grand master chess certificate
prolly is worse
but ....

Al Schumann:

Owen, as I recall the series went something like this

1) Enter the Pwog
2) Revenge of the Pwog
3) Pwogs of Fury, which didn't do well until it was repackaged as
4) Bondage Pwogs and the Psychedelic Dildo of Descartes

The last one was remade constantly. Each episode revolved around earnest legacy party activists whose commitment to progressive principles, ironically, manifested as complete obedience to their Doms, whose only principle was working them over with the dildo. They'd refute Descartes, in the throes of passion, and take phenethylamine to help them gain a better understanding of the Dom.


More from the Ministry of Funny Walks:


In 1942, Charles A. Ridley of the British Ministry of Information made a short propaganda film, Lambeth Walk - Nazi Style, which edited footage of Hitler and German soldiers from the film to make it appear they were marching and dancing to the song "The Lambeth Walk". The film so enraged Joseph Goebbels that reportedly he ran out of the screening room kicking chairs and screaming profanities. The propaganda film was distributed uncredited to newsreel companies, who would supply their own narration.


Don't be surprised at a little chair-kicking when you mock Great Leader, guys.

The mythic shot of His Holiness marching down the steps with The Pimp and The Chimp was rather...reminiscent.

Maybe O can send that righteous dude Ben Kinchlow along to keep the frat boys in line.

This is the best SMBIVA thread ever.

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