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Credit where it's due

By Al Schumann on Sunday August 29, 2010 12:21 AM

Book burning is not entirely without merit. There's a catch (not that one). It needs to be done in a way that increases book sales.

Also, three cheers for the Nanny State. When you need an infantilizing response to an infantile act,

GAINESVILLE, Fla. — Officials in a Florida city have denied a burn permit for a church that is seeking to burn copies of the Quran on Sept. 11.

Interim Fire Chief Gene Prince said yesterday that the open burning of books is not allowed under Gainesville's burning ordinance.

The Dove World Outreach Center drew international attention after announcing a plan to burn copies of the Islamic holy text on church grounds to mark the ninth anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks.

Prince says the church will be fined if the burning is held.

In an e-mail sent yesterday, the church said, "City of Gainesville denies burn permit - BUT WE WILL STILL BURN KORANS."

The Gainesville church made headlines last year after distributing T-shirts that said, "Islam is of the Devil."

Why not do the book burn inside the church? That would teach the fire chief a stinging lesson. Fill it to rafters, by all means, for it is written that pointless, faked-up, self-inflicted martyrdom is pleasing to the Lord, who shall ridicule them in His own time and at great length, for His mercy is infinite. But please forget about the Quran. There's no need to add insult to Predator drones, and there are worthy writers who need all the publicity they can get. Burn blogs in effigy too. Purify the ether!

Comments (8)


Inside the church ideed. One can dream...

Al Schumann:

I'm hoping the fire chief will explicitly warn them against that. They act like people who know just how to respond.


Why don't they just deep-fat-fry all those Korans at the county fair?

Al Schumann:

That would be a waste of good fat and worse: it wouldn't create the right kind of auto da fé. There's no substitute for a church kindled by its own arsonist parishioners.

Heinrich Heine Marxist Poet:

"Wherever they burn books, in the end will also burn human beings."

How many people know I was talking about Catholic Spaniards burning Korans?

Al Schumann:

They're already burning human beings. Then they interview them and ask if they understand that sometimes it's the price of freedom.

Heinrich Heine Marxist Poet:

That is true.

Perhaps you can say that people who burn human beings will eventually burn books?

Al Schumann:

I'm hoping the book burning will give them something more wholesome to do. Wholesome in a relative sense, of course. I would like, as well, for them to burn a volume or two of your poetry and post the video on YouTube—with a stern reminder that you are the spawn of Satan. Your publisher would love you, possibly enough to actually kick over a few bucks from the ensuing sales.

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