« Ten Years of Shame | Main | The Visceral Lapidary Limned In Beale-esque Distemper »

Nodemsatol, a partial panacea

By Al Schumann on Monday August 16, 2010 08:33 AM

Nodemsatol is not a complete cure, but it is a vital component of any healthy regimen. It can relieve social constipation, alleviate cognitive dissonance and provide an active alternative to people who feel their treatment plan presently consists of a kick to the crotch followed by a kick to the teeth. It is neither legal nor illegal, but it is definitely not an officially approved remedy and can frequently be difficult to put into effect. Side effects may include externally inflicted red-baiting, inducements to fatuity, sanctimonious lectures, harassment by urine sample fetishists and accusations of mental illness. Benefits may include fewer sightings of puckered, inflamed donkey sphincters, surge abatement, bankster remediation and a diet that excludes endocrine disruptors.

Isn't it time to give it a try?

Comments (5)

Rose:

I hate these jokers so much I'm tempted to vote Republican for the first time ever in 2012. If they're so in love with the two party system, let 'em have it good and hard.

In reality though, I'll probably stay home with a bottle of tequila.

I like Mr. Murphy's approach of None of the Above.

My Electile Dysfunction is pretty severe. I need to stay unready for whenever the moment is wrong. I'm thinking of trying the long-acting Leversavoid.

I want to be sure I'm home watching Spongebob Squarepants reruns on Election Day.

I've been on nodemsatal since 1996 and I've never felt better. A friend of mine just started taking nodemsatal and experienced immediate relief from his recurring Deanitus, Thanksralphatation, 2nd stage Pelosisity, cough, ague, gout and shingles. Thanks, nodemsatol!

Well, I'll be goddamned. Y'mean, all this time -- since about 1993 -- I've been a Nodemsatol pusher? "I said god DAMN... the Pusher...!"

( http://sinkers.org/stage/?p=148
http://sinkers.org/stage/?p=171
http://sinkers.org/stage/?p=174
http://sinkers.org/stage/?p=179
http://sinkers.org/stage/?p=183
http://sinkers.org/stage/?p=206 )

Alan Smithee writes:
I've been on nodemsatal since 1996 and I've never felt better...

I, myself, started experimenting with Nodemsatol in early 1993, shortly after the police/paramilitary assault on the Branch Davidians, and, maa-aan, was that some awesome shit*. I hadn't felt that great since the first time I tried acid.

I started hitting the stuff big-time in '96, shortly after Nader announced for the Greens, after hearing news reports of some White House flack -- I want to say it was that O'Donnell guy -- saying that Lefties would vote Democratic because they have no place else to go.

No place to go, huh? Watch me, motherfucker.


.

*as always, Ask Your Doctor.

Post a comment

Note also that comments with three or more links may be held for "moderation" -- a strange term to apply to the ghost in this blog's machine. Seems to be a hard-coded limitation of the blog software, unfortunately.

About

This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on Monday August 16, 2010 08:33 AM.

The previous post in this blog was Ten Years of Shame.

The next post in this blog is The Visceral Lapidary Limned In Beale-esque Distemper.

Many more can be found on the main index page or by looking through the archives.

Creative Commons License

This weblog is licensed under a Creative Commons License.
Powered by
Movable Type 3.31