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We are the champions

By Michael J. Smith on Sunday May 1, 2011 11:51 PM

One can't help wondering: to what ghoulish indignities will the supposed corpse of Osama bin Laden be subjected?

Our robust ancestors exhumed Oliver Cromwell, and drew and quartered him. No doubt they had a whale of a time.

These days, we don't know how to have any fun, or rather, we don't know how to admit that we're having fun when doing so; the drawing-and-quartering will therefore no doubt involve a spanky-clean autopsy suite, a DNA lab, an MRI machine, and a number of individuals with advanced degrees from well-known institutions.

Still and all, though. Mission accomplished, as the current Emperor's predecessor somewhat prematurely said. No doubt all those boots on the ground will be trudging home now -- right?

Comments (52)

It will be "buried in accordance with Islamic law" according to the MSNBC talking head, quoting White House source.

After being DNA tested for reasons of "proof."


That's rich. Where? Saudi Arabia?

Brian Williams didn't say, Michael. One assumes in an unmarked grave, so as to avoid a baraka cult blooming up around a tombsite.


What we need is an inverted relic cult. Instead of a saint's relic in every church, we need a Terr'rist's relic in every City Hall and DMV office in this broad land. You'd have to take your shoes off to approach it -- as at an airport.

So the hell with multiculturalism. Let's give Osama the Romanist treatment -- mince him up and seed the land with him, like Jason and the dragon's teeth. At least until we find another Enemy du Jour to take his place.

Poor Colonel Q is such a terrible stand in. But, as the farmer said, "That'll do, pig. That'll do."


A team of spooks carried a chilled Bin Laden carcass into Abbottabad and 'salted' the firefight site. OBL had died of natural causes in CIA custody within the last 24 hours and the remains had to be used before they began to decay.

It'll all come out in a few weeks.


Our government, especially the military-intelligence wing, has zero credits for trustworthiness.

Who's to say this isn't some kind of PsyOp, like the Jessica Lynch rescue or the orchestrated toppling of Saddam's statue.

Don't think it matters if he's dead or not. Don't think it matters one bit if the Pentagon or Foggy Bottom held Osama for the right moment.

Americans want to believe it and celebrate. So they will.

Al Schumann:

Regrettably true, Jack. It's a vindication for the Obamaphiles. The received wisdom enthusiasts will get a spring to their step as they're groped and irradiated in airports.


The whack of the century

A win win for both sides here

The platform and the halter board

MIchael Hureaux:

Amazing, isn't it, how many "progressives" are joining in the howls for blood. The very same people who are always lecturing me on the mean spiritedness and viciousness of marxist politics. Gee whiz.


Weird to see the mobs out in the street chanting... Even if you really wanted to see Osama dead, taking to the streets and celebrating like it's a Superbowl is a bit creepy


I can't wait to see who Obama appoints as the next head of the Department of Bogeymen. Given the number of times OBL was resurrected from the dead, talent like his is apparently hard to find.


Wasn't Osama buried at sea?

I had the same thought as Sean. I think that since we're in the ADD age of Twitter and Facebook, bogeyman will come and go like iterations of Apple products. The iconic, enduring bogeyman will likely go the way of the iconic celebrity. 'Terror' is just much more durable than any person.

We can expect more attention on South America, I think. And there has been some vague sabre rattling at Pakistan, courtesy of India.

I think this is bad for Wikileaks, Manning and dissent generally.

Reading the offal emitted by the likes of Juan Cole and Michael Moore via Twitter was a literally nauseating experience.

Another blow against international law, and another gust in the sails of the Dimbots.


Screw all of you. This is a great day.

"Screw all of you." One is tempted to ask how you trace this back to any kind of principle that you supposedly assume to be something "we stand for," or even anything that benefits anybody other than the military-industrial-media complex. As it is, the fact that there's no way to do that bounces right off the dried meat in your skull, doesn't it?


Mr Dawson, you say my skull contains dry meat, yet you utter nonsense like 'international law,' as if such a thing exists anywhere but in your imagination.

But you must be a Very Smart and Serious Person, because you are able to type things like "military-industrial-media complex" --- another meaningless term.


Nothing straight forward about this hit at all
Like an x Ray really
Reveals everything so long as you know what you're looking at and what you
Oughta be looking for
My pal y bee liken gushing contamination
Since last night
like he's a grammar school bubbler during a mid June recess

Yeah, didn't think so, burger.


"Reveals everything so long as you know what you're looking at and what you oughta be looking for"

I don't know that it's as mysterious as all that. There are a number of scenarios and they all teach us lessons we already know. No news about Empire certainly. Just a reminder of how bloodthirsty, jingoistic and hypocritical people get when these things happen. I/m glad that Rush Limbaugh has stepped out as the spokesperson for the Obamabots. I can't think of a better match, though he is now claiming his original lavish praise was sarcasm.

One thing seems clear: they knew about Bin Laden's hideout in 2008. Could just be that Wikileaks forced Obama's hand by releasing the files that spell it out. Apart from a likely short-lived bounce in the polls, I don't think popping OBL gets Obama anything except an excuse to leave Afghanistan, if, in fact, he wants that, which seems unlikely.

"leave Afghanistan"



Michael, please note that I said it "seems unlikely."

Please note also that ROFL is stupid even when used by 13-year-olds.

I was simply trying to address the mystery of why they decided to kill Bin Laden. What's your theory? Do you think they always intended to and didn't have the intelligence or is something else afoot.

Someone, please make fun with this photo:


Father Smith? Al? Flug?


Have you tried turning it off and turning it back on?


So it turns out Osama was whacked in a caper named Operation Geronimo. Bombastic, of course, but insufficiently vainglorious. I'm disappointed. Shouldn't it have been a bit more, something like Operation Shrieking Erinyes of Freedom, or even Operation Splendiferous Apocalyptic Cataclysmic Messianic Ululating Ecstasy?

Some-c, I didn't mean that ROFL derisively, i.e. not as a ROFLMAO or even a ROFLMFAO.

But do you really think Obama is intending to close down this war? I think that's a very minor possibility, despite the obvious grandstanding opportunity, as well as the accompanying opportunity to redirect the extreme waste of money.

But that waste is exactly why the ROFL burps up from my throat. Not only is Obama well proven to be too timid to stop a war/change the game, but neither the domestic economy nor the 2012 re-election "campaign" can stand an end to this one. War is good for business, at a time when not much else is.

P.S. My theory of why they shot Osama just now was that he hid very well, with some major Pak help, and that every Presibot drools to be able to hold that presser, so Zero "gave the order" as soon as it was possible (and there had probably been prior "orders."

Why does the left have such an addiction to complicating stories?

Meanwhile, the "brave" order was Batmanism, despite the appalling "left" Jingoism raining out upon us.


C'mon Dawson, carefully read what somecereal actually wrote.


"Why does the left have such an addiction to complicating stories?"

I don't think the left is addicted so much to complicating stories as just knowing how shit happens. I find it really annoying when any legitimate question is conflated with 'conspiricism' by the sensible adults in our midst.

I think it is almost certain that Bin Laden could have been nabbed sooner and so I am curious as to why it happened now, simply because it may suggest an attempt to change policy. PLEASE NOTE that I did not say "Change policy for the better" True, every Presibot wants a kill of this kind, but surely you know by now, the Presibot does not call all the shots in these matters.

I never said the Prez wants out of Afghanistan but he well may. It's an extremely unpopular adventure and I am not at all clear what Empire gains from it myself. The world is full of other Indians for the killing and thieving and Empire will have no trouble finding them. An ostensible 'win' in Afghanistan, sold to a public even more stupid and credulous than I'd thought, is an easy ticket to new adventures.

Or, as I said, it could just be that the Gitmo Files forced his hand.

I am sure I am not alone in hoping you respond substantively in future. Your comments tend to be about 1/3 I'm really smart, 1/3 you/the left are really stupid, and 1/3 substance. That's on a good day.

I can't imagine how this plays out with your students. If it's the same thing I am quite sure they loathe you.


I have to go now Duane, because I'm due back on the planet earth.


Smilesburger, what do you think you are gaining here?

If you want us to feel small or stupid or crazy, make a persuasive argument. So far there's not evidence you're not a patriotic 7th grader.


I've learned from years of riding the subway --- when dealing with crazies, no eye contact.

Some of you seem to think the US government is both limitlessly evil (as opposed to sometimes evil) and limitlessly capable. You are getting into tin-foil territory.


Limitlessly malicious without budgetary constraint.

Some-c, I apologize for perhaps splitting hairs, but my view is that it's extremely unlikely the U.S. departs Afghanistan. So, that's all I was saying. You rate the possibility a lot higher than I do. We disagree. OK?

And meanwhile you don't see what the powers that be gain from occupying Afghanistan? Why not? Can't think a good Secret Team theme? The utterly plain account is that they gain both a justification for the Pentagon budget and a base of military operations in the Oil Region.

As to conspiracism, either you think that's a problem or you don't. Personally, I think it's an expression of non-radicalism (bad apples did it!) trying to appear radical. I also think erring on that side goes very far toward discrediting the left. And much of what passes for a left now does nothing but manufacture speculative stories, in every case.

As it is, you seem to think U.S. Presidents are powerless puppets and also willing to bypass huge career boosts like shooting Osama, and that it's more likely than not that Obama has been waiting around to score the points. To what possible end?

Likewise, "other Indians" to kill opens a whole can of worms. It is not easy for the Empire to invade other countries. They generally require salable cover stories. So, leaving Afghanistan creates the dire prospect of having to talk about downsizing the military and employing those 150,000 returning humans.



" the US government is both limitlessly evil (as opposed to sometimes evil) and limitlessly capable.."
as a characterization
gets many of us here dead wrong

the MNCs behind uncle hedge are
never evil let alone limitlessly evil
in any useful sense

when an exploiting class
is called by necessity
to the essential tasks of being their class

globally THE MNCs are merely THE KLASS ENEMIES
the systemic exploiters
of the international job classers
and mass toilers of earth every where
and obviously global exploitation might from time to time
lead to reduced local exploitation
maybe even a very interesting pattern of north south noorth south super exploitation with class bribes
then intensified bribe removal and rapid expansion at certain signifigant locations around the the perophery that actual reduces
that localities absulte misery

at any rate
i like boinks
modification of part II
from limitless capability
"without budgetary constraint "

which leaves intact
sharp objective global contradictions
of these limitless capacvities for credit flow
top go meta meta here
Clio deputizes all economic classes
to Her purposes

have faith comrades

all mighty LADY HISTORY
is on the side
of the exploited billions

fuck its all in the gospel according
to karl of trier
prophet of the party of the final conflict(p)

(p) => "protracted"


Michael, I appreciate the obvious attempt to keep a lid on your tendency to be a complete asshole. However, it starts to fail with your second paragraph. I give you props for at least not sounding insane, which is an improvement over some of your appearances here.

Saying that the president can not decide these things alone is not the same as saying he is powerless. At the very least, he is reliant on intel which can be provided to him or not. Is it a conspiracy theory to suggest he is also beholden to banks and corporations? Wouldn't he also love the 'win' of ending an unpopular war? Implementing a popular health insurance plan?

Noting that Osama's location had been sussed out in 2008 does not equate to a conspiracy theory. It is citation of a fact which you do not contend with.

You overestimate the rulers' need for good cover stories, while also underestimating their ability to concoct and sell them. But since you brought it up, they just shot their cover story for Afghanistan, which was my point and the result is that they are now facing louder calls for withdrawal in the mainstream and within the Democratic Party. My question is why?

The Pentagon will be able to justify its budget with or without Afghanistan, obviously.

As to conspiracism -- how rich your views are in light of your frothing insistence from time to time that some of the regular posters here are working for the governent, presumably to disrupt all the truly amazing theorizing, strategizing and planning that go on amongst the two people who agree among the five or so who actually post here.

I don't embrace theories based on whether or not they discredit the left. I embrace them based on the facts. I tend not to embrace most conspiracy theories by the way. However, I don't discount them out of hand, since history gives me no cause for doing so. Perhaps you should read the lengthy series on the Secret Government from a few months back in the Washington Post, that hive of left-wing conspiricism.


"Some of you seem to think the US government is both limitlessly evil (as opposed to sometimes evil) and limitlessly capable. You are getting into tin-foil territory."

For me, the government is mostly evil, because it devotes the greatest part of its activity and budget to dominating the world through violence. I don't consider it terribly capable. But a government doesn't need to be highly capable to do great evil. In fact, a blundering thug probably does more harm than an extremely smart and efficient one.


Scereal pompous cantering thru here remains less impressive to us then to yourself obviously
The use of the word evil is quite telling
Seems you judge hegemonies like you'd judge parts in a morality play
I find that condignly small mindedahistorical and proof facts poured into a facile static algorithm yield piffle

Your notice of the small change operation run here by father S suggests a frustration with your own nugget sized platform
I hope not
The world could use yet another secular pastor of banal aims with baleful intent


Btw the part of the story of great interest has to do with paki us relations to
Not just each other
But various entities like the Taliban and the Arab terror outfits
Paki elites have lots on their plate
Obviously our elite can be quite understanding
That neither state is monolithic is hardly an observation
But the time to know and the time to act are far from all that is at play here


Pompous cantering? I'm simply trying to eke something other than an ad hom from Michael Dawson as well as make sense of the latest events. My reward, more ad homs from the other local fruit basket.

What, we don't believe in evil now? Really lost interest in splitting hairs over what it is a long time ago. I know it when I see it. It looks like burned children. Is that too pompous for you, you babbling, self-regarding troll?

Go to hell, you mentally ill bums.


My identity crisis has reached a new low.

I accidentally called myself op in my last string of pompous cantering.

Fight on, comrades, fight on.


"Your notice of the small change operation run here by father S suggests a frustration with your own nugget sized platform"

I have absolutely no illusions about my place in the food chain, dimwit, which makes one of us apparently, since the suggestion that you're small fry also brings out, well - whatever you would call a bad side in a person who has dimensions rather than postures.

I truly come here looking for the odd smart, interesting nugget that helps me make sense of things and feel less alienated from the zombies in my midst. Really bad idea, usually. The zombies are generally better company.

Al Schumann:
In fact, a blundering thug probably does more harm than an extremely smart and efficient one.

That seems reasonable to me. The USG is defined by mediocrity. The aspects that function well and to some real benefit do so because they don't capture the interest of the blundering thugs who chase after power.

The power elite are, by and large, buffoons and crackpot realists. They have a very limited understanding of the world, of the means at their disposal, of how successes and catastrophes happen. They're solipsistic to the marrow of their bones.


The blundering thug act serves a necessary stage in the process of global hegemonics ...no?

For example
I suspect the list of good corporate reasons to hang on to the afghan gig
Is long
But at a minimum it pays to maintain the rep
No cost will not be born to time to long
We the powers will outlast you all
Bury you al at sea grind you all up
And trade extensively with your next generation
We are forever so far as you rebels and resisters and enemies of free range
For gain corporatism are concerned

Al Schumann:

There's a logic, Owen, as you describe it. The rep has its uses. But it's cheaper in outlays and more effective in returns to minimize the use of force. The corporates will get their graft either way. The blundering thuggery is gratuitous. It's murder for its own sake.


I just so fast and furious five
And those were nearly the exact words of the don of rio
The portugese way versus the Spanish way

But in the end he used thugs too it's part of power even if deftly used
They must be prepared to terrorize with their brutality and yes excess

It's nothing about bLood lust it's not personal
It's the demands of raw powers authority
Blood and gold

The rep has its uses. But it's cheaper in outlays and more effective in returns to minimize the use of force.
This makes them sound awfully rational -- homines-economici. I wonder. Nobody assumes -- do they? -- that Mafia dons calculate the ROI on every goombah they whack.
Al Schumann:

The Mafia Dons are a good comparison. They're perfect for my purposes. The efficacy of their brutality, including wanton brutality, works for them only as long as no one can fight back. It starts to fall apart once they can, or whenever they meet superior force. The stupid ones pursue it anyway and they turn on each other, if someone else doesn't get to them first.

There's a pragmatic value to keeping brutality in check, even if there are no peers to worry about. Blundering thuggery, sedulously practiced, eventually leaves the organization good for little else.

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