Only In America

By Al Schumann on Tuesday May 29, 2012 03:22 AM

Only in America could a man go from being a run of the mill, self-involved, self-aggrandizing asshole to the ultimate heights: the most self-involved, self-aggrandizing asshole in the entire world. His trajectory is without doubt clear proof of exceptionalism's value.

Obama's high school shenanigans, as they're calling them in the press, can't really be used against him politically. The thumbsuckers agree and and so do I. Of course not. People who are going to vote for him will be doing so precisely because he's exactly the same as he was in high school, only without a joint in his hand to distract him. He might as well be Mitt Romney, which is the whole point of the exercise.

Comments (17)

You''re lying. He can't be a hypocrite. He can't be!

Surely American drug policy will be immediately changed.

More importantly, for the tokers out there, let this be a lesson: shenanigans prove not decency. As Mr. Schumann correctly notes, Obama is still the same guy. A standard progressive American flaw is the tendency to believe that elites are somehow different than your average, boring, middle class schmuck who thinks it's really rare and rebellious and "out there" to smoke, drink, or be a general asshole.

If we're all lucky, on a college campus somewhere, right now, a future Obama is instead getting 25 to life for his third strike possession with intent to sell.

Support Arpaio in his attempts to track down Obama for 1970s Hawaiian drug crimes. We must join the birthers and tea partiers to survive.

Did you know that Obama is a 'known laugher'? Fuck, I'm scared of whoever wrote that.

I imagine that bogarting joints is good practice for learning how to bogart campaign cash. Hillary found that out the hard way.

Al Schumann:

It's a tragedy that his pot smoking ways didn't do him any good. But maybe it's true, what the wise ones say about the entheogens: you take out of them what you bring in.

Romney/Clinton 2012!

(because what difference could it possibly fucking make? And, honestly, as a Person of Color, I kinda preferred it when we could blame Old White Guys for Everything)

That's exactly what a person of color would say, isn't? Let's blame someone else for our lot in life! Well, us white guys, old or otherwise, are not going to stand for it any longer! I for one am glad I can point an accusatory finger at the negro-in-chief. Feels good, feels right.


Back in the good old days you couldn't see a movie in NYC without getting stoned out of your mind from the second-hand smoke. The shit was everywhere. There was a store in my neighborhood that was painted completely black inside and had a single rack for potato chips which was the only product they sold in addition to pot. Kinda obvious, but the cops didn't care. They were in business openly for decades until Giuliani Time put an end to it.

Now my nephew gets stopped and frisked on a regular basis and when they caught him with half a joint, they arrested him and brought charges and the DA pursued them. He ended up with 6 months probation but they made him go through all the motions of going to court, etc.

Power is always about one standard for the peasants and another for the lords, and Obendover fancies himself a lord even when he's assuming the position for his masters. Even so he would probably legalize the shit if he had his druthers; it's his handlers that want to keep the drug trade illegal and profitable.

@Paul Alexander

"That's exactly what a person of color would say, isn't? Let's blame someone else for our lot in life!"

If you're being satirical (on any level and in any direction)... okay, then. If not: it's a miracle you could even *read* the comment in order to respond to it with such tone-deaf, jaw-dropping idiocy.

PS In case you haven't noticed, it's *your* "lot in life", too, chuckles. Or are you a bored plutocrat, trolling the serfs?

@Steven Augustine

I was attempting to be funny. I think I went a tad too far. Sorry if you couldn't hear the irony in the remark.


Well, that's why I qualified my assault on your nym before letting rip! No harm done; it was the shift in register, at the very end, that discombubulated my klan-detector...

Now let's have a beer!


Can it be a root beer?

Al Schumann:

I suppose I'm barging in too late to instigate a fight? Shit...

It's never to late to fight, fuck face!


The Barry effigy replaced by the mitt less one's

has to be good for race relations

The dlc types producedawhole generation of neo liberal humanists
in black face

Cory Booker harry ford

My governor in mass

Barry hizzseff

Where's the story of that in the media ?

This recent attack on vulture versus venture capitalism
Brought these magic face pols
out of their feel your pain fox holes
To back their patrons eh ?

The anabolic vets us catabolic sides of capitalism are a campaign issue
For the moment

And the keenest story

Bain capital after a few years of venturing decided to turn to vulturing
Because the buzzard MO looked better
With an ROI more dependable and prolly higher

"It's never to late to fight, fuck face!"

What my buddy said!

Al Schumann:
"It's never to late to fight, fuck face!"

What my buddy said!

This is not exactly what I had in mind. Although it does speak to a vigorous form of solidarity.

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