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Ted Kennedy: Scotch and steak catch up at last

By Owen Paine on Wednesday February 22, 2006 03:21 PM

I've always had a soft spot for at least one Kennedy: Ted. Among many charms, he's none of his brothers' keeper.

His oldest, Joe Jr. -- well we can X him out quick. He was a spoiled, headstrong bully, and a petrified father-cowed sleaze inside, who blew himself up trying to keep ahead of younger brother Jack.

Jack himself probably got almost everything he ever wanted out of life, and then made an even more timely exit than either Lenin or Elvis.

Not so, alas, brother Bobby -- America's first ever New Democrat. Nope, that's a guy we all needed to see more of. Maybe watching him mangle his way through the rest of the high 60's and early 70's, we might have learned faster and deeper what a swindle this whole tight-assed, open-minded, challenge-cup, neo-liberal meritocracy really is.

Maybe we would have killed it off long before we got ourselves into the likes of the Clinton menage.

But back to Ted. As the baby of the brood, Ted got to be more himself then any of the others -- and putting interrupted false promises aside, I think he's actually achieved at least as much, and certainly lost far far more.

So one shakes the knowing head some, upon reading the following in this morning's Globe:

US Senator Edward M. Kennedy plans to a unveil a sweeping economic proposal to improve US competitiveness and make globalization a force of prosperity for American workers.

'To help America embrace the competitive challenges we face we must invest in promising new technologies and high-growth industries that will lead to the jobs of the future.'


Did you ever see a picture of the right hand Rocky M put into Jersey Joe's jaw to gain the heavyweight title? "He'll never get back up from that one...."

Ted's taken more then his share of knockdowns, but this is really too punchy for words. He calls it the "Right Track Act," and it's a list of

measures that includes investing in high-technology industries, lifelong education for US workers, and....
...get ready...
...gives corporate tax breaks for investing in nanotechnology.

Kennedy: "America is in another period of challenge." Sadly note this upside-down gesture tacked on to keep up with the Schumers: "to ensure US workers compete on a level playing field," Ted wants presidential powers "to impose tariffs on the goods of countries that unfairly underprice their products through currency manipulations."

Oh, and there's also something about Fed money to head better high tech teachers toward bad schools.

Ted, Ted, Ted -- you need a crystal resting place... soon.

Comments (1)

J. Alva Scruggs:

That complaint about currency manipulation is intriguing. The more grounded financial papers have lately been talking about the possibility of the dollar losing reserve currency status and what that might mean for externalizing the US debt. At the same time, some mainstream theories -- like the "dark matter" explanation -- have skated close to saying outright that the US imposes a tax on the rest of world through the power of its currency. They're usually very coy about it.

Kennedy has been a corporate liberal all his life. Now he's picked up some of the deep paranoia about those people cutting off prosperity through destroying the currency. Of course, he's worked to put them in just the mood to do that, if they can and if if it doesn't mean they go down with us. If he's serious about doing something, the odds are it will put foreign central banks and debt holders in a position where they have less and less to lose by acting firmly against the dollar.

If he can't bring himself to retire, he'd do us all a favor by creating a demented and unworkable hash that everyone ignores.

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