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Warner, as in Brothers

By Michael J. Smith on Wednesday March 15, 2006 05:01 PM

It's a very good thing I didn't see the cover of the Sunday Times magazine until mid-afternoon:

This thumbnail doesn't do it justice -- the image, at full scale and lovingly calibrated color, was disturbing in the extreme. I originally thought it was some kind of Animatronic or computer-generated image of Arnold Schwarzenegger. Kept the mag away from the kids, of course -- don't want to give 'em nightmares.

The cover was (as usual) a lot more interesting than the interminable, tedious, inside-baseball story (by Matt Bai) inside the legendarily vapid advertising supplement. Indeed, it was such a grisly visual hatchet-job that the Times took the unusual step of printing a photo retraction:

The cover photograph in The Times Magazine on Sunday rendered colors incorrectly for the jacket, shirt and tie worn by Mark Warner, the former Virginia governor who is a possible candidate for the presidency. The jacket was charcoal, not maroon; the shirt was light blue, not pink; the tie was dark blue with stripes, not maroon.
But the man's teeth really are that ogreish? Surely not.

I guess the Bai article was really just a pretext for the photo, given the low literacy level of the Magazine's readership. It was pretty hard to tell what Matt's point was. But after reading through it a couple of times -- the sacrifices I make for this blog, let me tell you -- and reducing it at a slow simmer like veal stock, two points come into focus.

  1. Warner is the only alternative to Hillary
  2. Warner is even worse
So what we seem to have here is a political version of one of those Ukrainian matrioshka dolls: A Lesser Evil within the Lesser Evil, and like the nice lady said to Sir Arthur Eddington, it's Hillary all the way down.

Comments (3)

J. Alva Scruggs:

He's one of the few people they've got who is less telegenic than Hillary.

Tim D:

Well certainly debunks that oft-repeated claim that one need be good looking to be elected.

By the way, the matrioshka was invented by a Russian artist at the Abramtsevo estate in new Moscow in the late 1890s(I know, that's besides the point...).

Hmmm... Seems to me they're trying to make him look like Warren Beatty in "Bullworth." No doubt at some point we'll see him doing a hip-hop number.

At any rate, I suspect that if you crack open Warner, you'll find Joe Lieberman inside.

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