"HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN:
Your Jackass Slate For 2008!"
Well, here we are not even six months after The Most Important Election Since The Last Mass Extinction Event and, like Christmas commercials during the World Series, the Democratic "stars" have already announced their intentions to make political hay out of the disasters they allowed to happen for the past five years -- that is to say, announced their candidacies for the 2008 Presidential Fracas which, as any Democrat will tell you, will be The Most Important Election Since The Earth Cooled To A Temperature Conducive To Life.
So, what's more to say, gang, except let's get on with the slagging -- uhh...that is, let's look at some quick, elegant analyses of the "major" candidates (so far) on your Jackass Slate For 2008!
EDWARDS:
http://www.sinkers.org/posters/democrats08/edwards08.jpg
Ballsiest of the bunch, for sure, announcing the week after Christmas,
and while doing what was obviously a staged photo op around New Orleans,
pretending to help clean up a wrecked, wasted neighborhood and help some
people get their lives back together, all while announcing for Big White
Massuh's House. Am I the only one here who, on seeing this guy for the
first time, could only think that here was the new Beautiful Hair Breck
Boy, and that if he were a C&W singer, he'd be getting more ass on the
road in a month than most regular guys get in a lifetime, and just where
the hell did he come from, anyway?
THE FINAL ANALYSIS: HE'S GOT BETTER HAIR.
HILLARY:
http://www.sinkers.org/posters/democrats08/hillary08.jpg
Hillary, Hillary, Hillary! What else could I possibly say about Hillary
that hasn't already been said about the sensation of having red-hot
steel needles driven into your eyeballs? Anyone who's seen the YouTube
clip of Hillary meeting with Code Weak...uh, Code Pink back in '03, or
heard her speechifying in the past month, will tell you that her skills
at telling people shit they want to hear are still par excellence. Just
five minutes of Hillary and you'll know how the pancake feels when they
lay on the Aunt Jemima. Will this be our '90s Nostalgia -- CNN once
again being the Clinton News Network, NBC once again being Nothing But
Clinton?
THE FINAL ANALYSIS: SHE'LL PANDER TO ANYONE.
KUCINICH:
http://www.sinkers.org/posters/democrats08/kucinich08.jpg
(Full Disclosure: Your Cartoonist has been a hardcore Deadhead since 1978.)
Y'know, when Dennis Kucinich launched his "insurgent" candidacy in '04,
I first thought "well, hot damn! He sure as hell won't win, but at least
he'll put the fear of god in those DLC hoods!" This was, of course,
before hearing about -- and witnessing -- his miserable, craven
performance at the Democratic Convention, his supporters having their
"Kucinich'08" signs ripped from their hands and replaced with Kerry
signs by DNC goons without any apparent sign of protest. No bolting the
Convention, no boycott of the vote, no nothing, just Dennis Kucinich
leading his merry band of phony "progressives" over the cliff with John
Kerry (and Code Weak bringing up the rear). And now, as if this lack of
effort was actually appreciated, here's Dennis The Menace, back again,
to suck all the life out of the American peace cargo cult -- uh,
American peace movement.
THE FINAL ANALYSIS: HE'LL WASTE THE LEFT'S TIME.
OBAMA:
http://www.sinkers.org/posters/democrats08/obama08.jpg
(Full Disclosure: Your Cartoonist was drooled on by the Washington Post in 2002.)
Who else here saw Barack Obama's beaming mug in the paper or on TV right
about the time of the '04 Democratic Convention and thought, "Who the
hell is this guy, and why are they drooling over him like he was a
goddamn' rock'n'roll star?" I mean, seriously, the guy was basically a
nobody, then suddenly he was all over the goddamn' place -- kinda like a
political version of an American Idol winner. No years of living on club
gigs and peanut-butter sandwiches, no paying dues on the road as a
backup act, just wham! You're a star! Did anyone else here also find
themselves reading the drooling and thinking, darkly, that the Donks
were already grooming Obama for '08, and that he was here not to
actually do anything for African America, but to give Geezin' Old White
Liberal America something to feel good about -- so they can go back to
not really giving a shit about what's happening to black and brown
people in this country and when anybody calls them on it, they can say
"hey, gimme a break! I voted for Barack Obama!" The only Black
constituency I can think of who'd possibly go for Obama would be what I
like to call the "Ebony Magazine Demographic".
THE FINAL ANALYSIS: HE'S NOT "TOO BLACK".
Code Pink Meets Hillary, March 2003:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYATbsu2cP8
Comments (12)
Mike F., Rovian Spy !!!
Coming this Fall on FOX !!!
(Sorry. I couldn't resist.)
Posted by ms_xeno | February 17, 2007 6:48 PM
Posted on February 17, 2007 18:48
He's not "alabama" black. That's the key. You know, like that time Huey P Newton said,
"..we recognize that our common enemy is U.S. imperialism which is the leader of international bourgeois domination. There is no fascist or reactionary government in the world today that could stand without the support of United States imperialism...".
Those "not so well spoken" blacks all have the potential to think like this. Even Dr. MLK,Jr. said as much in his Riverside sermon.
They finally gave us our Powell/Rice and probably Thomas. Truly a professional bullshitter that ranks higher in that category than Reagan and Clinton combined (both of whom he admires in some ways and in some ways not but Reagan more than Clinton - probably, I think, well, maybe not)
Posted by Jesus Reyes | February 17, 2007 7:24 PM
Posted on February 17, 2007 19:24
odd you pick that quote jesus
just got put up as a comment back a few posts
the first part offers the viet cong
some bpp combat units
all black posturing WILL be on television
Posted by owen paine | February 17, 2007 8:06 PM
Posted on February 17, 2007 20:06
I missed it. I'm curious about the context. Maybe I will go back and look for it.
For sure, there is and was way too much posturing. This quote from MLK's Riverside Sermon "Why I Am Opposed to the War in Vietnam" of April '67 may be better. I think it's really the same statement less the stridentcy.
"A true revolution of values will soon look uneasily on the glaring contrast of poverty and wealth with righteous indignation. It will look across the seas and see individual capitalists of the West investing huge sums of money in Asia, Africa, and South America, only to take the profits out with no concern for the social betterment of the countries, and say, "This is not just." It will look at our alliance with the landed gentry of Latin America and say, "This is not just." The Western arrogance of feeling that it has everything to teach others and nothing to learn from them is not just. A true revolution of values will lay hands on the world order and say of war, "This way of settling differences is not just." This business of burning human beings with napalm, of filling our nation's homes with orphans and widows, of injecting poisonous drugs of hate into the veins of peoples normally humane"
Speaking of professional bullshitters, out of fairness to Barack Obama, I dont think the two poseurs extraordinaire, Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton are saying anything any different regarding the war and certainly not connecting it to neoliberal model of exploitation.
Posted by Jesus Reyes | February 17, 2007 10:59 PM
Posted on February 17, 2007 22:59
jesus i'll admit the jesse story
is a troubling story
but in 84 he broke thru a barrier mlk wouldn't brake thru
he defied the zionics
okay so then he moved back topward them with his common ground biz
but jesse is no simple balance sheet
where the numbers stay clear
on each lineand the tot up is automatic
like ralph he's not asomeone i'd attack
his son however....
as to sharpton at least so far as i can see
he's a cloudy force
really localized to the east coast
but whats optimal
in leadership and policy
for the black liberation movement
is not my call is it now
Posted by owen paine | February 18, 2007 10:07 AM
Posted on February 18, 2007 10:07
ps
as to jesse and the anti empire mission sketched out moses like by mlk
"i'll not enter there but..."
i think jesse stands all in all well above
his dembo coevals
the fact remains he's in an ever deepening twilight
what he sez and does
of ever dwindling import to the black nation so far as i can see
marginalized and fed cat food by
the main line mass media
Posted by owen paine | February 18, 2007 10:13 AM
Posted on February 18, 2007 10:13
http://www.boston.com/news/nation/washington/articles/2007/02/18/edwardss_tough_talk_claims_of_04_disputed/
the above link is to bos-globe article on the who was too soft in the kerry edwards prez run of 04
both the kerry camp and the edwards camp claim
"it was the other guy..we wanted to fight like fisher cats "
the srticle( though tilted toward dark clouding edwards)
--- read carefully----
shows they both
were
softer then sea foam
Posted by owen paine | February 18, 2007 12:18 PM
Posted on February 18, 2007 12:18
and here's how it looks from the other end of the vacuum hose
"Dear Friend:
Inspired by our victory in November, Progressive Democrats of America is more
confident than ever that the key to changing our country is to transform the
Democratic Party."
" We need real “bring-‘em-home” legislation, not just
non-binding resolutions"
fired up ???
be heartened ...
"Hundreds of us took to the halls of Congress three weeks ago, and it truly felt
like “Our House”
" we met with progressive Congress members (now chairing
key committees and subcommittees) "
and listen up ...
these energized elected
goodnes and light warriors
".. are holding hearings and strategizing.."
over big central mission stuff like
"
end the Iraq war,
and redirect funds toward social needs"
but BUT but BUT
"In January, PDA grassroots set a goal
of 100 new PDA sustaining donors for the
1st quarter of ’07"
and .......and
fork it over clover
.
Posted by owen paine | February 20, 2007 1:14 PM
Posted on February 20, 2007 13:14
if these cuffs were actually up there bribing folks i could get interested but this cash goes to sustain the sustainers
of the lobby 24/7 hoo doo dance
and not to buy cool stuff like
snake rattles and smokey charm bracelets
and magic caps ...
nope its for fishes and loaves
a lobby travels on its stomach
Posted by owen paine | February 20, 2007 1:20 PM
Posted on February 20, 2007 13:20
give me one gal carrying a fat envelope
not 100 goo goo rangers
with vast appetites
for
south bay sushi and harvest bread
hell the gal up top there
prolly
gets all her drinks paid for
by her mark
Posted by owen paine | February 20, 2007 1:30 PM
Posted on February 20, 2007 13:30
flash:
a must read
---if the wash postcan be said
to publish any such thing ----
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/02/20/AR2007022001575.html?referrer=email
its about everything and nothing
its about
the net roots attack on Ellen Tauscher
and its about
how that attack is really nothing
the "left " story of this watershed moment...
------------------
supporting cast :
besides a cameo by my fave cal gal
jane harmon
there's
hoyer and la nan
kos and moveon
union pie cards
lovely lovely lovely stuff here
read please
some hot spots:
"though she (Ellen Tauscher )
has always highlighted her independence -- shortly before the election, she warned Democrats not to "go off the left cliff""
this flip attitude is what led
to an on all fours netroots attack :
"Progressive blogs
-- including two new ones, Ellen Tauscher Weekly and Dump Ellen Tauscher -- "
are at it 24/7
"... bashing her as a traitor to her party "
but notice from the "sensible center"
cometh the rally of the party core :
"Pelosi has clashed with Tauscher in the past"
---that'll be nan
the bay area lady liberal---
" but she's now eager to hold together her diverse caucus "
--- and this is the new super sized centrist
speaker pelosi ----
" ...So far, Pelosi and her leadership team seem determined to protect Tauscher and her 60 New Democrats -- up from 47 before the election."
see how it works .....
" the day after Working for Us, the new progressive political action committee, targeted Tauscher...
House Majority Leader Steny H. Hoyer (D-Md.) spent 20 minutes complaining to Working for Us founder Steve Rosenthal, who swiftly removed the hit list of "Worst Offenders" from the group's Web site"
but it ain't over till its over
enter das kos:
" "Absolutely, we could take her out," said Markos Moulitsas Zúniga -- better known as Kos -- the Bay Area blogger behind the influential Daily Kos site"
the adjustment :
"Tauscher's Web site no longer features photos of her with Bush or Sen. Joseph I. Lieberman"
despite a life time
history as
a devoted friend
of war and killer trade deals
ellen T pulls
the culture-lib defense
ie she covers her big fat bizwiz ass
with caring colors
of green and pink :
"..liberal groups such as the Children's Defense Fund and the League of Conservation Voters give Tauscher impeccable report cards, while the National Rifle Association gives her straight F's."
un fooled
our net warriors are having none of it....
its about iraq after all ..
"We need her to stand up and end this war," said Joi. She and her Code Pink colleagues recently told Tauscher that if she wouldn't support a bill calling for total withdrawal from Iraq within six months, they'd occupy one of her district offices."
now comes the union pie cards:
"Gerald W. McEntee, president of the American Federation of State, County and Municipal Employees, made it clear that Working for Us didn't work for him.
"Our majority can disappear in a wisp," he told the members.
"I'm the sheriff of the incumbent-protection program, and if you need help, let me know. In Blue America, there's no room for PACs to chase vulnerable members they have differences with."
From the crowd, a voice squealed: "Woo hoo!"
It was Tauscher."
could there be more ....???
yup
here's ANDY !!!
yes andy stern blood enemy of McEntee
"Tauscher ...
met for a glass of wine with Andy Stern, the feisty liberal who runs the Service Employees International Union; he assured her of his union's support"
the wagons are circled
so what of the other half of my cal gal duo ??
here's kos on The Jane-ster
"Kos points to Harman as a perfect example of how the Net roots can keep Democrats in line. He said Harman used to be a constant irritant, a go-to quote for reporters looking for a Democrat to tweak liberals -- until she had to fight off a primary challenge from the left in 2006. "She's been great ever since," he said. Now Harman even writes on the liberal Huffington Post blog"
isn't it fitting if I leave the moral of this tale to my beloved
"KOS CHASTENED" jane harmon
"Having served in the majority and the minority, I can tell you, the majority is better,"
Posted by owen p | February 21, 2007 2:23 PM
Posted on February 21, 2007 14:23
is this enough???
"I have nothing in particular against Rep. Ellen Tauscher or even the DLC. My question of any Dem is, are they being all they can be, given their district's demographics. Maybe Tauscher isn't, I couldn't say. She's next to Frisco, but hey New Hampshire is next to Vermont.
As far as incumbent protection goes, it is perfectly proper for Reps. Pelosi and Hoyer to take the position they do. It is also perfectly improper for any blogger or organization with a claim to progressive principles to indulge them."
that's max sawicky
my response
if the district should be republican then
make it republican
split
lib dems and pop dems
and never a lib dem support to prevent a repug congressional victory
the real lib dems
will become
the second cheek of the corporate fanny
a true rump outfit
so me too
so bag carrying
for the full blooded
babbit party of wall street
and main street
they'll shrink to third party
like the lib dems of england
meanwhile will we be missing anything
they got goin now ???
Posted by owen paine | February 22, 2007 12:38 PM
Posted on February 22, 2007 12:38