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Why Daddy Is A Democrat

By Al Schumann on Saturday December 8, 2007 07:13 AM

Democratic Party members who have been experiencing some distress over their party's capitulationist strategy, now enhanced by their majority status, finally have something they can feel good about. "Why Daddy Is A Democrat", the companion volume to "Why Mommy Is A Democrat", reviewed here and here, has been released.

In a masterful, Lakoffian maneuver, the Democrats have staked a claim to being the daddy party. This is an important step in the national healing process. The delinquents of the authoritarian right can come home now. They have a suitably hirsute and powerful role model to emulate. Younger Democrats, traumatized by their previous incarnation as helpless, terrified squirrels, can be eased into the far more proactive -- dare I say masculine? -- role of bear cubs. Progress is more immanent than ever. And now I have to go throw up.

Comments (6)


Scruggs' discovery suggests that perhaps Democrats are a protogynous species -- they are females while out of office and turn male when they get elected. The closest analogy might be the cleaner wrasse, a tropical scavenger fish. A pair are shown here, courtesy of Wikipedia, tidying up a larger, more important fish, a hedge-fund fish, perhaps, or a Hollywood fish, judging by his snazzy turnout:

John Edwards appears to have made the reverse transition since leaving office -- he did the manly thing while in the Senate and voted for war, and he's gone all peace-and-love now that he's out. I expect that unlike the cleaner wrasse, which only changes gender once, this swapping of genitalia can happen for Democrats over and over again.


They seem to draw a form of nourishment or perhaps energy from their serial transmogrifications. If that could be harnessed to something useful, like light rail transport for the cities, the country could enjoy a nice little uptick in prosperity.

Scruggs, did you catch the vote on Safetea-Lu back in 0805? The first read-out proposed to throw PT even more under the people's chariots, Allie G, Peak Oil, and I-Rack be damned. The vote? 503-12. The # of Ds in the nay? Nil.

(No BS of Vermontian alt-man fame either...)

You dost much insult the gametes & gonads here. When they get their first dates, they run like the lemmings to the self-eunuching sea.

This railroad runs backwards. No lights, clits, or balls are forthcoming. Such nasties are no stuff for we babies. It's still naptime. Ask dear Auntie Hil.


Michael, point taken about the insult and the self-eunuching sea. I will sin no more.



the natural world hold's no other example of the two party zyztem

homo morphianus bridentsus
and homo brutus profitica
symbiotes ???


the capital players
in a sit com
here in brightest
north trans frankonia
"married with wage slaves "


Owen, in spite of the meretricious qualities of naturalistic (and mechanistic) analogies, I continue to think the squirrel dialectics have a significant role to play in deconstructing the Democrats. Through layered euphemism, we will achieve clarity.

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