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Stimulus -- or stimunculus? Part Deux

By Owen Paine on Tuesday November 25, 2008 02:37 PM

(Part I is here. It argued that while Obama keeps promising 2.5 million new jobs from his stimulus package, the country needs something more like 15 million.)

So where's the rest of the 15 million good sustainable jobs coming from, if not trade and uncle Obama's largesse? How does this sound: 3 trillion dollars worth of unplanned, uncalled-for, highly risky neat new net expenditures by America's free-range firms.

Maybe our economic colossi, the ten thousand limited-liability transnat Freikorps will go totally manic, and spend tons on highly venturesome projects: spend it on real stuff, real products, just now produced products, and just now performed services, that facilitate production and circulation -- a freshet of bareassed investments and gambles, and in lunatic proportions. Does that seem likely?

Will the "private system" spend its own way back to prosperity? Can we wait upon the big Incs? Can we rely on the ten thousand? Can they, like bees, all rise into full buzz at once? Can we have ten thousand simultaneous Scrooge moments? A sudden pandemic boardroom morph into 24/7/365 Christmas-morn mode?

Matter of fact, I think we can we can -- yes we can -- but it'll be a long wait, a decade long even.

As I recall, the old misery himself, the original Scrooge, after two feckless ghostings more for the readership than the protagonist, the prick was finally actually scared shitless by his own meaningless end and gold teeth-picking Death. Maybe that's the way to induce corporate types into caritas in perpetuum, eh?

They'll not be sentimentalized there, reasoned there, jawboned there, legislated there, or hoped there -- only scared at gunpoint there.

Here endeth today's lesson. Now -- let us pray.

"Oh Lord, give us your chosen ones, your semi-toiling, semi-huddled ones, give us out of your infinite bounty 10 million dream factory jobs. Amen."

Now go back to work, you loafers, and tonight, pray again -- pray for an amazing grace. Pray for St Barack to become St Rocky. Pray this present avatar of uncle Sam, with God's hard hand at his bum, leads us back into our amazin' sizzlin' early 40's form. Pray for a battlin' come-back America, an America ready to and able to build our new green and gold cube Jerusalem -- build it fast and all by ourselves.

Comments (1)


The image looks like what the rich would really like to do; blast off into space and leave the chumps behind on a dying, spent planet.

I'm also reminded of the cartoon THE CRITIC, where Jay Sherman's adopted, very well-to-do parents kept yammering about sending all the poor people into outer space to fend for themselves...

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