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The Pwog Gauntlet Is Cast

By Al Schumann on Saturday June 13, 2009 03:12 AM

Are you deliberately trying to start a civil war?

If your answer is yes, then stop this cowardly half-assed screwing around. You speak the language of war and honor; but the honor code of the warriors you pretend to revere demands that you declare your intentions. If you really believe that the only way to get the America you want is to negate a fair election, shred the Constitution, and violently cleanse the country of everyone who doesn’t agree with you, then man up and get on with it. If it’s a shooting war you want, do not doubt that there are plenty of progressives who will oblige you. If this goal is so important that you’re really willing to kill for it, please don’t forget that you will also need to be willing to die for it. Because, like martyrs Greg McKendry and Steven Johns proved, we are willing to do whatever is necessary to stop you.

Oh, dear...

Are the pwogs are going to start shooting wingnuts?! The prospect is a little bit alarming, if farfetched. I think they should recommit to cranking out pointless, turgid reifications for think tanks and get back to accusing the wingers of being the "real postmodernists". We'd all be a lot safer. Also, it would be helpful if the pwogs could stop calling themselves "the left". They're crackpot meritocrats who support capitalism, neocolonialism and a kinder, gentler police state, but get upset when this freak show is run poorly by Republicans.

Comments (11)


Al, where've you been, ol' buddy? I hope not spending time with the big whale on the West Coast. I actually don't mind a little fighting spirit from the left, though this one does seem a bit self-important, if not delusional.

I often wonder, when the big crack down comes, if I won't find myself in the same mountain cabin as my conservative neighbors. They, after all, are the ones who have the weapons, and they're the ones who really hate Big Gov.

I once asked a conservtive tennis pal why he kept guns in this lily white suburb we lived in, and he said "for the time when the feds became too big." I suddenly saw myself as a bit of wimp for believing we could work it all out through "reason and civilized discourse."


Damn, my Microsoft Office thought-checker failed me there! I should have said the problem with the Orcinus agitator was that she has the wrong enemy -- acting all self-reighteous because "Jimmy started it!", instead of blaming the teacher.

Al Schumann:

I've been provisioning a bunker complex. There's plenty of room in it for SMBIVANs and SMBIVAN sympathizers who wish to escape the coming civil war.

My life's work... ready at last. I'm very proud of it.

Once the shooting starts, I think we can hold out for at least sixty days. Of course that's assuming no more than a few hundred comrades, and people for whom the word "comrade" may carry too much baggage, but who fully approve of camaraderie. The post-apocalyptic landscape may be frightening. The devastation may cause some despair as we sort through the rubble. But I think we can count on the pwogs and wingnuts to depopulate it enough for "fringe loonies" to thrive, at peace with one another.

This is a hopeful time, HCE! A civil war, and hopefully cannibalism amongst the pwogs and wingnuts, is change I can believe in. I've been sending the more aggressive ones recipes for long pork, to encourage them and help them prepare for their audacious enterprise. In many ways, this will be their finest moment. I believe we owe it to them, and ourselves, to makes sure they do it right.


Al, you worry me with that last comment! Or was it only "a modest proposal"? The economic levelling of the next decade will make Pwog and Wing-nut disappear, or morph into fascist and anarchist. Current Pwog and Wingnuts are only two sides of a single disfunctional family. Eliminate the abusive father figure and all the siblings will be free!

Al Schumann:

Possibly an "immodest proposal", but as you've surmised it was facetious.

The economic levelling of the next decade will make Pwog and Wing-nut disappear, or morph into fascist and anarchist. Current Pwog and Wingnuts are only two sides of a single disfunctional family. Eliminate the abusive father figure and all the siblings will be free!

That's well-observed. I think a lot of where people park themselves in the consumer frenzy for political identity has more to do with enduring baggage and circumstance than conviction. There are plenty of nominal conservatives who would make fine anarchic neighbors, for example, and plenty of nominal liberals who would be happiest as brownshirts in charge of vengeful nurturing.


"brownshirts in charge of vengeful nurturing. . ."

The "Nurse Ratchet Brigade" of the former DP!

Al Schumann:

Very much the "Nurse Ratchet Brigade" — a felicitous description. They don't approach moral hygiene in the same way righties do, but they have the same basic enthusiasm for a vulgar pathologizing of the people they steamroll.

Perhaps a small point, but the militant wing of the Obama slumber party generally DON'T call themselves "the left." It's "progressives," isn't it? These folks are nothing if not thoroughly scared and schooled in the sanctity of Cold War boundaries...


Better find another death's head to muster behind hce
Forget nurse ratchet
Doc benway....
And then fed her organ's to aj's baboons

Al Schumann:

They're shy about claiming left as a label, and they hedge it with gaseous, self-aggrandizing apologies for The Sixties® and communism, but when they're browbeating reluctant adherents they'll stake a timorous claim to being "of the left".

Still, point taken about their immersion in the sanctities of Cold war boundaries.


I suspect, for the average pwog, the term 'left' only signifies that they aren't 'right.' Which is to say - not real world 'left' but isolated American mushy middle meritocratic 'left.'

Nevertheless, I'm looking forward to the Pwoggie-Freeper War of '09. Let the good times roll!

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