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Love a man in uniform

By Michael J. Smith on Tuesday December 21, 2010 06:26 PM

It's not fair to beat up on the cops without also taking a whack at their brothers-in-arms, the soldier boys.

Our far-flung mercenaries have become so heavily armored and padded that they look like the Michelin Man. But as was the case with the armored chivalry at the battle of Agincourt, all this plating and protection doesn't seem to be working out so well. It does make them look ludicrous, though, and that's all to the good, of course.

And every day brings some new absurdity. What is that preposterous dog-legged apparatus that appears to be sprouting out of this young officer's helmet? I dunno how the Afghans can stop laughing long enough to take aim.

This image illustrates a remarkably maudlin New York Times story. Quotation can't begin to do it justice; but then, I don't exactly recommend it, either.

Comments (16)


That thing on the helmet is a mounting bracket for night vision goggles.

I can't say I was surprised at the level of idiocy displayed by this officer. He decides to occupy a hill from which the Taliban have been making themselves conspicuous firing RPGs at a nearby town. Big surprise: when they get there, they find it's covered with mines. So a sergeant suggests they bombard the fuck out of the place to detonate the mines, but Captain America decides the minimal risk of an unexploded mortar round or two exceeds the danger of hundreds of ready to explode mines. Brilliant.

Next we have the minesweeper who is confident he can detect any mine. Apparently, they failed to tell him about the plastic ones in minesweeper school, which detonate when they come into close proximity of any metal object, like a minesweeper.

Net result: two men with their legs blown off.

This article proves nothing but how poorly trained and overrated the US military is.

Nonny Listened:


John Humphrys is a man of the world in this interview with Assange WHEN he talks about manly government operatives doing their jobs and writing their tittle tattle reports.... but when its a question of meddlesome outsiders like Assange looking under the rug or possibly fitting a defective condom then he is an easily distressed maiden aunt out of Trollope or Dickens... No doubt he is beloved by all right thinking Brits, a national treasure.... about 25 minutes long.

Milton Marx:

QE fucking D.

What's next: Snark about fat WalMart workers with no healthcare? Ain't life grand when you've got an education, unimaginable comforts, and not a worry in the world!


Think of the US military as actors in a movie, now playing for your distraction on tv stations everywhere. According to Pepe Escobar in Asia times today, the real war is being fought in Pakistan, by the CIA with drones.


6 frigging pages. It's bad enough that they write press releases for Empire. Do they have to be so goddamn prolix all the time? It's like some indoctrinated, dull windbag that has not idea how to tell a story, thinks boring things are interesting and never shuts up.

MJS you're just shameless in the way you're trolling poor lil Milty.


I guess one man's shamelessness is another man's hilarity, DP. Seems to me that lulzcows like little ol' Miltie should be milked as often as possible.

Oh now don't misunderstand me Smithee, I completely approve of said trolling for the exact reasons you state.

Milton Marx:

Such piercing wit. Such devastating prose. Oscar Wilde has nothing on you guys.

How how would such a wuff-tuff working man beer-n-pretzels working worker two-fisted granma-saving working man worker worker from a "rough neighborhood" (Guffaw!) know about Oscar Wilde?

Milton Marx:

Why wouldn't I? Only hyper-educated geniuses like you know of such people?

You really want to turn this into the "Seinfeld" doorman skit?


I wouldn't lightly dismiss the effectiveness of today's body armour.

Looking at the low ratio of fatalities to total injuries suffered by US forces in Iraq, there is little question in my mind that body armour enabled many US troops to escape death.

Body armour also forced a change in Iraqi insurgent tactics. One of the big reasons for the guerrilla's eventual emphasis on improvised landmines was simply that small-arms fire in ambushes was not effective enough against US troops in body armour.

Without body armour, night vision equipment, and individual radio links, the US could never have garrisoned many Iraqi urban areas, for years on end, with such relatively minor losses.

Unfortunately, many recent technological changes have favoured imperial forces over guerrillas.


How how would such a wuff-tuff working man beer-n-pretzels working worker two-fisted granma-saving working man worker worker from a "rough neighborhood" (Guffaw!) know about Oscar Wilde?

This one's as lost on me as it is on Milton. Is AlanSmithee Oxy's new moniker?

"Unfortunately, many recent technological changes have favoured imperial forces over guerrillas"

Except for the recruiting thing... there never seems to be a shortage of recruits on the guerilla side. The human spirit is truly indomitable. In the face of superior forces and technology the insurgents keep signing up to get their chance to kill one of the imperial storm troopers.

I wonder why that is.

I think they're pissed about something maybe. Not quite as pissed as Lil' Milty, but pretty damn pissed.

Stanley Milton, the Pop Tart Poster
Had a really boring shtick
And if you ever watched it
You'd figure his head's real thick
All of the other trollers
Also used more than one name
But Milton's a lousy actor
So his socks all sound the same...

I'd try and write out more verses, Folks. But dinner isn't gonna' cook itself. Sorry.

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