The results are most definitely in…


… and it would appear that being slightly less bad than the other guy is not a compelling elevator pitch.

I don’t think anybody mentioned the midterm elections in my hearing — my physical hearing, that is, in the 3D world — but all my friends were tearing up Facebook about it. This seems appropriate, since Facebook is the Valhalla of the inconsequential.

I actually know people who voted in New York, for Heaven’s sake, and not even for Howie Hawkins. They’re being secretive about who they did vote for, but I bet it was that Lovecraftian tentacle-faced monster Andrew Cuomo. I’m sure they did it on one of the sockpuppet lines — Working Families or the other one, the women one, and no doubt this gambit will have appeared to send some kind of message.

In fact it does send a message, but not, perhaps, the one intended. The message Cuomo and his ilk will have heard is that there are a few gulls who require an extra layer of candy-coating, and that this is easily supplied.

On the boat the other day I heard on the radio — our local NPR affiliate, of course — a rather genteel mud-rassle between a representative of the Working Families Party and another from the other one, the women party. Both spokespersons, as it happens, were women, so although the Woman Card was played relentlessly, it sounded like a tie to me, after a rather dull, listless bout. Even the mud seemed bored, and volunteered only the most perfunctory sucking sounds. And neither of the contenders seemed to give a shit, really.

Both of them agreed that Cuomo was a deplorable person — or no, that’s not quite right. What they seemed to agree on was that Cuomo was two people, a nice Andy and a nasty Andy, and although we have only seen Nasty Andy since he was inaugurated, Nice Andy is still barely alive, though deeply sedated, somewhere in the Cuomo brainstem. Both sockpuppets promised to bring back Nice Andy by — guess what? — “holding Cuomo’s feet to the fire”.

This is a very popular phrase among Democratic Party fellow-travelers, and of all the wolf tickets one has ever been offered, it requires the deepest discounting — on a par with Confederate bonds, really.

The Workaday Women’s party or parties in fact have no fire, and wouldn’t light one if they could, and they have no grip on anybody’s feet. If they were ever in a position to spoil an election for a Democrat, and willing to do so, this feet-to-the-fire trope might have some plausibility. But they obviously are not able, or willing, to do that, so feet and fire will never meet.

I remain astonished at the need people feel to vote. I can only conclude that it’s some sort of superstitious practice, like carrying a rabbit’s foot. Quite invulnerable to reason.

33 thoughts on “The results are most definitely in…

  1. Fantastic MJS! One your finest, I love a great explosion of rational anger.

    ‘Both sockpuppets promised to bring back Nice Andy by — guess what? — “holding Cuomo’s feet to the fire”.’ Simple political calculus says: Cuomo is a politician, he only remains a politician if he’s elected, so in the area these motherfuckers have the largest amount of leverage, they give away that leverage freely and instead threaten to fax petitions and hold signs up in free speech zones. Sorry, Andrew can’t hear you from the governors mansion.

    • I really should have proof read that before I hit send. I would like to add an ‘of’ before ‘your’ in the second sentence. Also, I didn’t mean to leave MF’ers in, that’s much harsher than I intended. Should have been suckers.

  2. At a going away party last night in D.C. ugh. i only dreaded the discussion of the election and the “did you vote?” queries. that said, of 9 people, yuppified professionals, fed guvmint employees most of ’em, they voted FOR the marijuana initiative on the ballot, for whatever it’s worth in federal-controlled DC. and why? b/c they smoke or would like to? oh hell no. b/c of jail time for a non-issue. to their credit. they see the havoc & misery involved. But, they also voted for their councilman who’s all for the massive development projects going on in the ward which will also…create havoc & misery for poor, largely black, people. but condo values will rise, so whatcha gonna do? blacks can smoke pot across the anacostia river in DCSE. support MJ legalization AND gentrification! it’s a win for all!

  3. The fauxgressive echo chamber is all atwitter (no pun intended) with doomsday rhetoric, so I stopped by for a rational take on yesterdays dempocalypse. Nice to see New York’s electoral Three Card Monte (Pick a party and find the liberal! Only costs a vote to play!) is keeping up with California’s new Bait ‘n Switch system.

  4. I was kinda hoping I would never have to see that scowling tentacle-face or his liberal-scorched appendages staring at me from the local newsstand ever again. Color me disappointed in the ejections.

    I just had to go to Kos and find the article I knew would be waiting for me:

    No worries. Horatius is still at the bridge blocking the republicrat hordes.

  5. One final thing, I apologize: I feel a lot safer with these incompetent jokers mucking up the Dems seeming desires to institute their scary corporate-government social engineering under the guise of things like ‘healthcare’ and ‘education’. I don’t know what the schools are like elsewhere, but out here in California, the schools have all been fenced in and covered in ‘No Trespassing’ signs, so that no one can use them outside of school hours. This is as a result of school administrators expanding their kingdoms and pushing the parents as far away as possible. This is what I see as the mentality behind the Dems: We Know Better Than You! Not that the other guys are any better, they just seem very disorganized at the moment.

  6. I voted… for measure 91 here in Oregon to legalize weed. Cuz I have my self interests at heart.

    I wrote in Mickey Mouse or my son’s name for most of the other elective offices. If Mickey Mouse or my son win anything that’ll be groovy.

    But come next summer? I’ll be having some big ass ganja plants growing in my garden. So while voting is mostly an exercise in the useless, occasionally a vote comes up that serves me well.

    Oh, I also voted down measures for coal plants and LNG plants in my locality. Seems no one wants that shit in their neighborhood. I don’t blame them.

    • I’m with you on ballot initiatives. I love ’em, and if there had been any on the ballot that I took an interest in, I’d’ve dropped in and done what you did.

      It’s interesting to me that liberals really don’t much like ballot initiatives. Too much like democracy, in the rough old Greek sense.

      • “It’s interesting to me that liberals really don’t much like ballot initiatives. Too much like democracy, in the rough old Greek sense.”

        I’m not a liberal, I’m a leftist! At least that’s what I keep telling people. There is a distinction. But what you say is true.

    • I must not be keeping up on the news–I thought that it was still iffy to actually grow and use marijuana even in the “legal” states, because the Feds could randomly drive armored vehicles through your front door and steal all your assets due to their association with said plant. Has that issue vanished, or are you just willing to risk it?

  7. The last month or so prior to election day, Youtube was the venue for the ads of the nameless groups Almost every Youtube video in NC (a rapidly Republican-izing state in recent years) was preceded by a very believable mother bemoaning that our D-Senator was voting with Obama 96% of the time to spend hard pressed citizen’s money on it never said what but wastefully. This woman really said nothing but she was good and the set was dressed perfectly. She spoke looking just slightly disheveled in her kitchen/den bill paying/check writing station. Then, as the decision day approached, the nameless group introduced a beautiful young couple who had decided to keep a severely premature sub 2 lb baby rather take the Senator’s apparent advice to abort late term. Cut to 4 year old adorable blonde laughing and giggling with Mom. She had a soul all along, Dad tells us. And Senator Hagan wanted, it is suggested, to kill her!

    I detest the Senator, a reliable vote for Obama policy, whenever Obama deems Congressional support useful or harmless. But after seeing these ads running over and over on almost every Youtube video, however brief the video, I was ready to re-elect her.

    Well, almost. I stopped before I voted again.

  8. High Arka, MJ is curious as both a grass roots issue and a point of possible federal intervention. there are now too many people to drive the tanks thru the front doors and shoot the dog and spray agent orange on your plants and seize all the assets you acquired thru those 3 plants. the federales will have to be more selective. i’m sure they are up to it.

    and Boink, wow. happily you resisted the temptation to feel sorry for your D senator.

    • I know a lot of growers in Oregon. They’ve been medical up until now and they’re very careful to watch the limit at which the feds will intervent. Keep it down to 20 or 30 plants and you’re fine. The feds are overextended keeping track of all the people growing weed… and the liberals want to give them more money for law enforcement. Fuckin’ Asshole liberals….

  9. On the upside, we’ve voted to legalize marijuana here in DC. Maa-aaan, I’m so looking forward to being able to sit back on the patio in my back garden and smoke a joint with my first cup of coffee in the morning without being all furtive and paranoid n’shit. That is gonna be so muthafuckin’ nice, man.

    As far as the Democrats’ apocalypse… p’wah hah. I can’t pretend I’m not enjoying it.

  10. Idea for amusing oneself: tell your ‘Donk if you love democracy’ friends not to fret because the Republicans lack the *supermajority to be a threat to their liberal way of life.

    *curiously critical since 2008

  11. If you are astonished at people’s need to vote, you must be even more astonished that “leftists” on facebook gush over a “fellow-traveler” who seems to be trying to reinvent himself as an expert on Hillary, intent on getting liberals not to vote for her. One would have to think long and hard to name a bigger waste of time. Although my mentioning of it might qualify.

    • Are you referring to Doug Henwood? Given the “target-rich environment” he was working with, his Harper’s article on Hillary was remarkably weak and lazy — and if he had integrity he would’ve shared the byline with Dick Morris. And quoting the loathsome Gail Sheehy? He phoned this one in, which is a pity. He has probably helped Hil’s cause more than hurt it.

      One glimmer of satisfaction from the “elections” — aside the fact that 2/3 stayed home despite relentless browbeating to “exercise their right”: the Green guy in NY got way kore votes than the neutered WFP; the pwog party of the bizarre “vote against Cuomo b voting for him” stance. Heartening methinks.

      • Indeed, chomskyzinn! Yet, way too many people eat this pathetic shit up. He promotes it like there is no tomorrow, noting every mention of it, no matter how obscure. He wrote a review of Piketty’s book, a superficial one at that, and mentioned it so often that I started to think he believed that he had written the book.

        • I’m told he has quite a little Amen Corner on FB, but that he also gets very peevish and thin-skinned with anyone who dares question his shoddy work. Evidently he is quick to take the revolutionary act of blocking and defriending!

          Any sentence that begins with “According to Dick Morris” or “As Gail Sheehy told me” isn’t going to end well.

          The typical SMBIVAn could demolish Hillary in a paragraph or two, without help from the toe-sucker or media psyhoanalyst.

      • A Henmann post will pop up every now and again. Inevitably one of your friends will be friends with him. Louie P is another. As luck would have it, I’ve never run into him in real life… though I’m often in Clinton Hill (did he move?).

  12. Vote for Hillary Clinton and consign my soul to hell? I don’t think so.

    Get Simple Score Voting. Be strategic! Give one to ten votes to any candidate (or write-in). End the two-party lock-in!

    (Logging in to this site is hell.)

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