Nous sommes Charlie


Clearly the martyrs of the Rue Nicolas-Appert didn’t die in vain:

[New York ]Police Commissioner Bratton [announced today a] new 350 cop unit, called The Strategic Response Group, [which] will be dedicated to “disorder control and counterterrorism protection capabilities” against attacks like the hostage situation in Sydney, which the NYPD’s Deputy Commissioner of Intelligence John Miller said was an inevitability in NYC.

This new squad will be used to investigate and combat terrorist plots, lone wolf terrorists, and… protests. “It is designed for dealing with events like our recent protests, or incidents like Mumbai or what just happened in Paris,” Bratton said, according to CBS.

“They’ll be equipped and trained in ways that our normal patrol officers are not,” Bratton explained. “They’ll be equipped with all the extra heavy protective gear, with the long rifles and machine guns — unfortunately sometimes necessary in these instances.” Capital NY adds that these officers will also be used “to assist on crime scenes, and help with crowd control and other large-scale events.”

… Bratton said Mayor de Blasio was on board, and he expected the City Council to be as well.

No doubt Bratton will prove to be entirely correct in his sanguine expectations about de Blasio and, needless to say, the City Council.

I’m mildly surprised to hear that the NYPD doesn’t already have every cop toy a porker could possibly dream of. But maybe Bratton watched a lot of TV during the CH lockdown, and sensed that the tres soigne porc francais had a certain je ne sais quoi that he couldn’t quite identify, and characteristically concluded that it must have something to do with firepower. I’d almost be willing to bet that he orders French machine guns.

But if he expects the New York oinkerie to look anything like their French counterparts, he needs to recruit them from Williamsburg, not Rockland County.


9 thoughts on “Nous sommes Charlie

  1. Reluctantly I ask that you explain the Williamsburg versus Rockland County joke for provincials such as yours truly.

    Reviewing a recent youtube link in a comment to an earlier post, I noted that the French police arresting a young burqa’ed woman (and making her scream like a baby) appeared to be of the same no-neck, round-shouldered body type that populates the US military and police ranks these days. No offense is intended to readers of that body type, but 30 years ago, say, the police didn’t really look so uniformly of that conformation. They were more mixed than appears to be the case now.

    Does it trace back to the all volunteer military and the tendency of the authorities to hire their cops from a population of former US warriors, todaya somewhat self-selected group lacking the variety of the old conscript army?

  2. a bunch of marshmallows, walking tubs of donut batter. you need to put up warnings for all your serving-portion challenged readers: mayor de blasio jokes, i mean fat cop jokes, ahead. if that crisco-fried dough keeps a cop from catching a shop lifter, i’m all for it.

    those french do look scarily fit. many american cops aren’t even ready to spectate le tour de france. but for the exception, take a trip to the nation’s Capitol bldg (i live in DC), or better yet, go to the Pentagon & walk around. there are 1 or 2 waddlers among the Park Police on the mall, but almost all the cops around here…heavily armed & minatory.

    still, paris had the wherewithal to summon up 90k cops within a matter of minutes of the CH thing. our societies are corrupting each other.

    trust mjs in all this frightening absurdity to make fat jokes.

    • No fat joke intended, but NYC cops do not look like French cops. It’s less a matter of physique even than couture.

      There are places in the US where the cops are very “fit”, in the sense that they obviously spend a lot of time in the gym, but they don’t look like French cops either.

  3. gear fetishists are easily made jealous. boy i wish we had us one of them doomsday devices.

    the fat southern sheriff/cops hiding out in donut holes is a mostly passe stereotype. in metro DC at least. the local cops are more often than not massive, beefy, schwarzeneggar types. they may not be able to catch some scofflaws, but you do not want to have any kind of physical contact with them unless you like having your bones broken.

    and they just keep multiplying. pentagon police, Metro transit police, capitol police, park police, sheriffs, marshalls, all the locals, and your secret services & fbi’s and who knows what else on the federal level. plus The Troops. plus all the local private security. plus the Vigilant Citizens Brigades & their guns.

    Israel is the model everyone is looking to.

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