Respect for the dead? The hell with it


Nancy Reagan’s one good quality, so far as I am aware, was that she gave the best blowjobs in Hollywood, back in her days as an on-the-make starlet. This is according to Peter Lawford, who may have been in a position to know but who also, as a quasi-Kennedy, is hardly a reliable source.

I would like to believe that it was so, since I don’t like to believe that anybody is all bad. Perhaps it even explains the characteristic expression of halfwit blissfulness that old Ronnie nearly always wore.

Incautiously, I expressed this observation yesterday, in my first flush of enthusiasm for a post-Reagan world, and encountered a good deal of chilly disapproval, from friends who I am pretty sure had no use for Pa or Ma Kettle, and who are not prudes.

Some of my pals seemed to think this was a misogynist thing to say, though I understand that blowjobs are not a female monopoly, and are frequently given and received, across this broad land, by all sorts and conditions of mankind, and often with considerable satisfaction to donor as well as recipient. That is to say, I agree with what seems to be a pretty broad consensus that blowjobs are not just a contribution to the ‘publick stock of harmless Pleasure’, but a downright Good Thing.

In the Nancy Reagan case, the piquancy of her rep as a mouth musician is of course much increased by the hypocrisy factor. In later life she became identified, as everybody knows, with the slogan ‘just say no’, and emerged as a staunch advocate of traditional morality. Whatever that means. Perhaps it allows for blowjobs, but only under carefully controlled conditions.

Did I show insufficient sympathy for what a girl needs to do to get ahead — no puns, please — in a man’s world? Perhaps. I don’t have much sympathy with people wanting to get ahead, in general. It seems like a bad character trait to me. But of course even-handedness is a deplorable quality too. One law for the wolf and the lamb, etc.

Nancy always just struck me as a very bad person, and a deeply unattractive personality: cold, ambitious, unspontaneous, affected, manipulative, false, callous, mean-spirited, vindictive, ignorant and smug. So while it’s possible to imagine her honing her technique to a high level — she was never lazy — it’s difficult to imagine her ever giving a sincere BJ, a BJ for its own sake, as opposed to an instrumental, tactical, career-enhancing BJ.

Reflecting on that aspect of the matter, what might have appeared an amiable trait in another person takes on a different coloration. The thought of that ferret brain scheming behind the pliant lips has, shall we say, a chilling effect.

I think some of my friends may also have thought it was tacky or tasteless to take a whack at somebody newly dead. Perhaps, but I don’t see it that way.

There are things I won’t say about the newly dead. I won’t say I’m glad they’re dead, for example. Nobody deserves to die, though we all do.

Nor will I say I hope they burn in Hell. Nobody is bad enough to deserve eternal punishment, though plenty of people are bad enough, as I may have said before, for a good long roasting in Purgatory.

But there are also people bad enough to have forfeited all the usual courtesies owed to Samael’s more recent clients. The Reagans fall into this category. Bad garbage; and though I won’t say good riddance to them, I won’t forbear to remark upon the stench they leave lingering in the air.

4 thoughts on “Respect for the dead? The hell with it

  1. “I would like to believe that it was so, since I don’t like to believe that anybody is all bad.” I had to laugh at this, but that only shows what a sexist pig I am. If the worse thing you could say about a person is they were adept at giving head, that would be a Good Thing, too. Unfortunately that isn’t the case with Nancy or any other celebrated idol of our political class. Who they know and who they blow to get ahead is the least of their sins, but there is nothing more crass and “sexist” than to mention it.

    It is always of interest to me to see how casually many liberals dismiss the whole of the working class as “trash,” particularly if they are white, but go into convulsions over any discussion of the lengths some high profile women will go to in order to climb the social ladder. Such sexism to speak of old Nan on the casting couch, even though I suspect Ronnie as well had to bend over and take it like a man to get his moment in the spotlight.

    Then there is Good Queen Cunny herself, whose only necessary virtue in the eyes of some voters is the possession of a vagina, which seems to be the focal point of a vast right-wing conspiracy to discredit her. Perhaps if Hillary had honed the humble art of the hummer her hubby wouldn’t have turned out to be twice the prick Ronnie was. So perhaps we should thank Nancy for her heroic homage to homo erectus. She might have saved a few lives using her mouth for something other than attracting flies.

  2. Here’s the female perspective on all things blow job and getting ahead :

    One of the few regrets I have in life is not having used my erotic capital when I was young to get “ahead”. I was hot and a competent techie, so no need to put out. In fact, I was utterly loathe to relying on my good looks for getting ahead. Well, some 20 years later when I had to work for someone 15 to 20 years younger than me (and far less competent) that I realized it wasn’t about getting ahead but getting “left out”. Here you’re working for some asshole who’s young enough to be your kid and that’s precisely why she thinks you’re a loser. Sure, this could happen to any man or woman of a certain age but the pecking order is much more unfavorable to old birds and hence the virtue of using the erotic capital to avoid getting left out.

    As for the awful Ronnie and Nancy, I have no energy on either one of them after having witnessed far worse. The presumptuous next POTUS is far worse than either one and I’m not talking about the Donald. At least Nancy wasn’t parachuted to California to run for office using her husband’s position as the president. But that is NOT to say that Comrade Smith’s vitriol against her is in bad taste. She deserves every bit of it.

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