Once upon a time there were three friends. Their names were Charlie and Bob and Alice. They lived more or less contentedly on Earth.

One day they were sitting in the park, discussing Monteverdi or some other absorbing topic, and suddenly a space alien materialized before them and said that they were to be deported to a far-away galaxy.

They had a choice of two planets for their new home, and they had to take a vote among themselves which it was to be.

Planet A had a surface temperature of 1000 degrees Celsius, and was highly radioactive. Planet B was slightly cooler at 800 degrees Celsius, but even more radioactive, and the atmosphere there consisted of vaporized sulfuric acid.

Alice voted for planet A, because she had always hated the cold. Bob voted for planet B because he felt sure that he could live a few milliseconds longer there, so B was the lesser evil, obviously. He delivered this opinion in a rather pompous, surely-you-see manner.

Charlie pondered for a a while, then said, “The hell with it. We’re done for, either way. I refuse to play your sadistic game, you tentacled plug-ugly. Do your worst.”

Instantly they found themselves on the surface of Planet A (the alien had kind of a thing for Alice, and Bob had annoyed him).

In the last millisecond before their brains fried, Bob rounded on Charlie and shouted, “See? This is ALL YOUR FAULT!”

If New York Magazine is to be believed, Hillary is as delusional as her diehard votaries, with their mad flat-earth theories about Russia and so on. Of course, she could be faking it, but somehow I think not. The NY Mag piece linked above has its longueurs, but it’s still fascinating. A few excerpts:

History, says Clinton, “will judge whoever’s in Congress now as to how they respond to what was [a Russian] attack on our country. It wasn’t the kind of horrible, physical attack we saw on 9/11 or Pearl Harbor, but it was an attack by an aggressive adversary who had been probing for many years to figure out how to undermine our democracy, influence our politics, even our elections.”

[C]iting FiveThirtyEight’s Nate Silver’s research on the impact of Comey’s October 28 letter: “If the election had been on October 27,” she said, “I’d be your president.”

Of course, Hillary isn’t the only one:

Later, [Christiane] Amanpour would tell me how surprised she was by the negative reaction. “The idea that she shouldn’t mention the Comey letter when the entire nation and the most respected statisticians are considering its impact is so strange,” she said. “If she were a man, would she be allowed to mention it? As a woman, I am offended by the double standards applied here. Everyone shrieks that Hillary was a bad candidate, but was Trump a good candidate?”

Well, of course Trump was a bad candidate, you blockhead. Unfortunately for you and people like you, Hillary was obviously a worse one.

Rebecca Traister, author of the NY Mag piece, obligingly supplies the plan B excuse (Russia, of course, being Plan A):

A competent woman losing a job to an incompetent man is not an anomalous Election Day surprise; it is Tuesday in America.

As if elections were about ‘competence’ — a corporate job interview writ large. (Of course such interviews are not about competence either, but don’t tell anybody.)

Hillary again, in the too-familiar didactic tone:

“Because the advocacy media occupies the right, and the center needs to be focused on providing as accurate information as possible.”

Apparently the US political system consists of a ‘right’ and a ‘center’. Calculate the listing moment. Show your work.

Round Up The Usual Suspects Dept.:

“Sixty-six million people voted for me, plus, you know, the crazy third-party people.”

This is an exceptionally bald statement of the usual Democratic Party zombie’s assumption that anybody who votes for a third party is just a renegade Democrat — a murtadd, in fact, an apostate, a traitor, a person who maliciously shirks his plain duty. (I originally typed ‘pain duty’, one of my better parapraxes.) It also, of course, exhibits in a very searching light Hillary’s profound contempt for the electorate, who are crazy when they’re not deplaaarable.